You don't want to know how many times I opened the "Create post" page at Blogger and stared at the blank text space waiting for some sort of inspiration to hit me. It's saddening that now I can't seem to get ANY sort of ideas or inspirations on what to write. It just shows how pathetic a wannabe journalist I can be. *sigh*
Tonight is one of those nights. The nights where I spend hours just listening to emo songs and be emo. And those nights also happens to be times when I am able to write best for some reason. I guess you can say I'm an emotionally driven writer. Yep.
For some reason I could kinda tell that since my week started out awesome, I knew it was gonna end slightly worse. This week was pretty eventful. It started out with that interview and presentation and then the peak was when they told me I got the scholarship. So for a few days, it stayed stagnant at the top until about a day ago when it started going downhill. I don't know. Maybe it is just me being emotional.
Strangely, I've been feeling bouts of paranoia for the past few weeks. I never really discussed it with anyone not even him for the fear that it might spark another argument. God, I hate arguments with him. Long before, arguments between us could be solved so easily. Now, it's almost like we're throwing verbal daggers at each other (except that his are more sharper). Yeah, that's the part that scares me most. I get doubtful when people tell me "I would never...[insert whatever actions or doings] to you." Because when some time later when they actually do it, it hurts so bad.
Sometimes I wonder if couples do forget the reason they're together. Like when you see that person for a long time very often, you sort of get used to them and it becomes a routine. True, when you say that you can't imagine a day without them because it has become daily routine to call, or meet up or having meals with them. I suppose that is when couples forget the very reason why they got together. It becomes sort of like the need you have to drink a cup of coffee every morning or else you can't start your day. You just know that you have to have it but you kinda "forgot" the reason why.
No doubt, he treats me good. The best I would say. I never felt happier than with anyone else. When we're happy, we are really happy but when we argue, it is just the worst of its kind. I get intimidated by that side of him because I find it very hard to reason with him at that time. Sometimes it is just dumb how we start arguing. From an almost nonsensical reason, a huge argument would ensue. It's almost ridiculous.
But ah well, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship I guess. Bound to be ups and downs. Anyway, I just got a call from him. He's back. Gosh, I missed him.
Goodnight guys.
The New Chapter
So here I am at a whole different place where I shall begin my tertiary education. Today's my first day and I already can feel the difference. This is the chance where I can really start afresh. I've already set mental goals and trying to change certain unsatisfactory attitudes in myself.
Anyway, at the moment my place does not have the required Internet connection yet so I'm stealing some from Teddy's place for a while. So I guess I won't be able to update this in a while. =)
For those curious about my SPM results, I got 8As. Managed to get partial scholarship with it. My parents were practically in tears of joy. Lol. Ah well...now I've eased part of the educational burden, they're pretty thankful that I did managed to get scholarship. Mmm...so this is where I embark on a new journey I guess. =)
Anyway, at the moment my place does not have the required Internet connection yet so I'm stealing some from Teddy's place for a while. So I guess I won't be able to update this in a while. =)
For those curious about my SPM results, I got 8As. Managed to get partial scholarship with it. My parents were practically in tears of joy. Lol. Ah well...now I've eased part of the educational burden, they're pretty thankful that I did managed to get scholarship. Mmm...so this is where I embark on a new journey I guess. =)
This Is For You
(Sorry I didn't include a proper title. I shall let the entire post speak for itself.)
Hot tears sting the back of my eyes. How I wish I wasn't this emotional. PMS played a huge role in this but there's also a little part which I know isn't to be blamed on these monthly hormonal "attacks." It's the part where the real emotional and overreacting me comes in.
That real part is kinda new to me because so far I have never met with such...unwelcoming feelings before. It only started recently, and the person with me when it started is him. The good part about these feelings are that if it were to start when I am with him then it means that his presence in my life exhibits a very significant puzzle piece in my jigsaw puzzle of a life.
I would say in most of my previous relationships I was like the "guy" in a relationship. I was like that too at the beginning of this one with him. Phone calls, text messages, little expressions of love would all be initiated by the guy. I was...I would say stubborn. I didn't want to admit and show how much I really miss that person. I rarely expressed how I felt for someone publicly on the Internet. I was embarrassed. Yes, I was that type of person. I was the cool and passive one who would always wait for the other party to make the first move.
But then he came. At first, I admit I thought it would be like previous relationships and yes I mistook him as any other normal guy. However, when other parties came into the picture I then realised the unnoticed chemistry I had with him. There was this complete chemistry thing. What I mean by that is there's chemistry when talking online and talking on the phone.
So when I saw my mistake and made a decision to ensure that there will only him and I, I slowly fell deeper into what most people would call love. And from there I learnt how it is to really commit to someone. It was hard at first because I was so used to being the cool and passive one. I would always wait for the other person to sms/call/message first. But with him, I just let everything go and let whatever feelings take me.
At first, all went so well. I thought that maybe heaven had moved its position to right where I am. I never felt so contented being with one person in my entire life spent on Earth. It's like he had it all, nothing I'm unbearably unhappy with, parents like him, my dog loves him and friends think he's nice. It was just an awesome status and situation to be in.
Then lately, I think I'm slowly turning to be like the typical "girl" in a relationship. And I'm scared of that. Because the reason he fell for me was that I didn't appear to be any typical girl. Right now, I'm getting so emotional over little things. I've been overreacting a lot hence most of our previous arguments. I feel like I'm falling into the wrong deep end of love. As if the moment long ago when I completely let myself go into this hole called "love", I really did let everything go. I didn't take care to be aware which deep end of love I was falling into.
Emotions are so spilling over the top now and its a mixture of good and bad emotions. And the strength of these emotions are strong. Sometimes I feel I can't control them and just let them take over. That's where the insecurities, overreacting, flashes of temper and tears come in. I'm beginning to fear that it's going to get on his nerves. I know guys dislike it when their girls start acting peevish and spoiled. And I myself had tried hard not to let myself turn into those girls because they were the very reasons why boyfriends got sick of their girlfriends.
And what's worse? I'm turning into like them! I'm becoming clingy and spoiled. I get mad when I find out he actually is doing something else while talking to me. I mean in my head I'm pretty rational, I know it is definitely NOT right for me to get mad but in my heart I am more emotional than rational and because my heart has been growing faster than my brain, so it overrides the power of the brain to process a situation beforehand. It's a tad slower than my heart so only after the emotions have subsided my brain realises what a disaster my heart has made. A few times it put whatever great things I had with him teetering over the edge of the cliff overlooking the sea of break-ups.
Fortunately, I saw to my ways of error and made up for it. But the same thing happens every single time and I'm really starting to wonder if maybe one day the thread snaps due to the tension. And it will be because of me. It's really strange it started out with him sacrificing so much to be with me because he saw the perfection in me and at that moment like I thought he was just any other guy. However, now it seems like I'm turning out to be just any other girl and the perfection in him just shines.
It's like I'm turning into a different person when I'm with him. Before that I was known to be a very composed person. I do not show excessive emotions even if I am really feeling dejected and miserable. But then referring to what I said above, the reason why these rash emotions came in is because I finally let myself sink completely into someone's arms. He had the key to the locked doors that led to so many great and not so great feelings.
And when we argue he yells and curses. He's not afraid to hurt me unlike other guys who take all the blame and spoil the girl. He stops me and tells me directly what I'd done wrong. I would act all defensive and blame everyone one else except myself. But he would stand his ground and help me realise my flaws. Even though he lost his temper and yelled at me, in the end he would always forgive my mistakes and apologised even though it was my fault. Now, that is truly unconditional love. And for that I love him to bits, my Teddy.
Hot tears sting the back of my eyes. How I wish I wasn't this emotional. PMS played a huge role in this but there's also a little part which I know isn't to be blamed on these monthly hormonal "attacks." It's the part where the real emotional and overreacting me comes in.
That real part is kinda new to me because so far I have never met with such...unwelcoming feelings before. It only started recently, and the person with me when it started is him. The good part about these feelings are that if it were to start when I am with him then it means that his presence in my life exhibits a very significant puzzle piece in my jigsaw puzzle of a life.
I would say in most of my previous relationships I was like the "guy" in a relationship. I was like that too at the beginning of this one with him. Phone calls, text messages, little expressions of love would all be initiated by the guy. I was...I would say stubborn. I didn't want to admit and show how much I really miss that person. I rarely expressed how I felt for someone publicly on the Internet. I was embarrassed. Yes, I was that type of person. I was the cool and passive one who would always wait for the other party to make the first move.
But then he came. At first, I admit I thought it would be like previous relationships and yes I mistook him as any other normal guy. However, when other parties came into the picture I then realised the unnoticed chemistry I had with him. There was this complete chemistry thing. What I mean by that is there's chemistry when talking online and talking on the phone.
So when I saw my mistake and made a decision to ensure that there will only him and I, I slowly fell deeper into what most people would call love. And from there I learnt how it is to really commit to someone. It was hard at first because I was so used to being the cool and passive one. I would always wait for the other person to sms/call/message first. But with him, I just let everything go and let whatever feelings take me.
At first, all went so well. I thought that maybe heaven had moved its position to right where I am. I never felt so contented being with one person in my entire life spent on Earth. It's like he had it all, nothing I'm unbearably unhappy with, parents like him, my dog loves him and friends think he's nice. It was just an awesome status and situation to be in.
Then lately, I think I'm slowly turning to be like the typical "girl" in a relationship. And I'm scared of that. Because the reason he fell for me was that I didn't appear to be any typical girl. Right now, I'm getting so emotional over little things. I've been overreacting a lot hence most of our previous arguments. I feel like I'm falling into the wrong deep end of love. As if the moment long ago when I completely let myself go into this hole called "love", I really did let everything go. I didn't take care to be aware which deep end of love I was falling into.
Emotions are so spilling over the top now and its a mixture of good and bad emotions. And the strength of these emotions are strong. Sometimes I feel I can't control them and just let them take over. That's where the insecurities, overreacting, flashes of temper and tears come in. I'm beginning to fear that it's going to get on his nerves. I know guys dislike it when their girls start acting peevish and spoiled. And I myself had tried hard not to let myself turn into those girls because they were the very reasons why boyfriends got sick of their girlfriends.
And what's worse? I'm turning into like them! I'm becoming clingy and spoiled. I get mad when I find out he actually is doing something else while talking to me. I mean in my head I'm pretty rational, I know it is definitely NOT right for me to get mad but in my heart I am more emotional than rational and because my heart has been growing faster than my brain, so it overrides the power of the brain to process a situation beforehand. It's a tad slower than my heart so only after the emotions have subsided my brain realises what a disaster my heart has made. A few times it put whatever great things I had with him teetering over the edge of the cliff overlooking the sea of break-ups.
Fortunately, I saw to my ways of error and made up for it. But the same thing happens every single time and I'm really starting to wonder if maybe one day the thread snaps due to the tension. And it will be because of me. It's really strange it started out with him sacrificing so much to be with me because he saw the perfection in me and at that moment like I thought he was just any other guy. However, now it seems like I'm turning out to be just any other girl and the perfection in him just shines.
It's like I'm turning into a different person when I'm with him. Before that I was known to be a very composed person. I do not show excessive emotions even if I am really feeling dejected and miserable. But then referring to what I said above, the reason why these rash emotions came in is because I finally let myself sink completely into someone's arms. He had the key to the locked doors that led to so many great and not so great feelings.
And when we argue he yells and curses. He's not afraid to hurt me unlike other guys who take all the blame and spoil the girl. He stops me and tells me directly what I'd done wrong. I would act all defensive and blame everyone one else except myself. But he would stand his ground and help me realise my flaws. Even though he lost his temper and yelled at me, in the end he would always forgive my mistakes and apologised even though it was my fault. Now, that is truly unconditional love. And for that I love him to bits, my Teddy.
Are We (Girls) Really That Complicated?
There's really no straight answer to that. But generally from what I observed, yes girls can be really complicated. Yeah, including me. I'm not so sure about others of the same gender but for myself I never intended it to be so complicated.
Girls usually put up all sorts of complicated and confusing expressions as a subterfuge to what they really want. And please, it's not like we're doing it on purpose. I believe in general girls are much more emotional than guys. Every little tiny thing whether words or actions have influence against how we feel. We desire unconditional love and attention. Nothing else would make us happier than that.
They say that men are really simple beings, they have a clear idea of what they want. I believe women starts out with a single clear goal but because women tend to possess a higher emotional capacity thus it turns something simple into a matter of complication. Also women are more self-conscious than men. They always want to look their best even if it's to throw out the rubbish. Hey I do that, if I were to step out of the house I would check if my hair is alright. Men couldn't care less even if it looks like a mini-bomb has been dropped onto their hair.
So yeah I would say us girls are meticulous creatures, they take every little detail into account. Hence, having men brand us as "complicated." But like I said before, there's no straight explanation and every girl differs from the rest. If you're lucky you might land yourself with a less complicated girl and if not, then good luck to you. =)
(I seen some of those girls before, even I myself find them annoying. So I don't really blame you guys for getting sick of their behavior. =D)
Girls usually put up all sorts of complicated and confusing expressions as a subterfuge to what they really want. And please, it's not like we're doing it on purpose. I believe in general girls are much more emotional than guys. Every little tiny thing whether words or actions have influence against how we feel. We desire unconditional love and attention. Nothing else would make us happier than that.
They say that men are really simple beings, they have a clear idea of what they want. I believe women starts out with a single clear goal but because women tend to possess a higher emotional capacity thus it turns something simple into a matter of complication. Also women are more self-conscious than men. They always want to look their best even if it's to throw out the rubbish. Hey I do that, if I were to step out of the house I would check if my hair is alright. Men couldn't care less even if it looks like a mini-bomb has been dropped onto their hair.
So yeah I would say us girls are meticulous creatures, they take every little detail into account. Hence, having men brand us as "complicated." But like I said before, there's no straight explanation and every girl differs from the rest. If you're lucky you might land yourself with a less complicated girl and if not, then good luck to you. =)
(I seen some of those girls before, even I myself find them annoying. So I don't really blame you guys for getting sick of their behavior. =D)
How We're So Easily Amused (Or Rather Me)
I doubt much of everyone would take notice or give it much thought. I'm not exactly sure if everyone else experience or feel the same as I do. It's not something that we would bring up during hangouts or conversations. I believe this post would be somewhat unorthodox to what people would usually write about.
I guess it's because these little things which amuses us ever so easily play a very insignificant role in our daily lives. I wouldn't really say it is amusement that we feel but that's the closest word that I feel matches to the feeling.
What I'm referring to is the feeling you get when you hear, see or do something that somewhat amuses you. Like for example, for me I like the sound of rustling paper or the crunching of dry leaves on the ground. Or the sound of high heels against wooden floor. Or the sound of tyres against the gravel. Also not to forget the sort of satisfying feeling you get when you burst a pimple or boil and the pus comes oozing out. Yeah, it's disgusting I know but it does gives a feeling of satisfaction.
Usually you hear these little sounds of rustling and crunching pretty clearly in movies. Maybe some don't notice it because they're paying more attention to the overall movie. But me, I tend to pick up these little sounds and just...I don't know be amused. I'm not saying it's a bad or good thing. It's just something that I believe can be related to almost anyone.
I'm very attentive to changes of sounds around me. There was once when I was young I only started noticing how many different "little" sounds there were that I disregarded before. Honestly, I became quite irked by that and for one time thought maybe I was hearing things or that I was gonna go deaf or something. Yeah, I was around 9 at that time. I noticed the sound we get in our ears when we swallow liquids and then got so obsessed with all the other little sounds. I didn't tell my parents or anyone though, was too afraid they might tell me I'm sick. Haha. But I got over it soon enough.
Now, I try not to listen too intently to something. Usually when I sleep I try to shut out every little sound or else I'd be awake the whole night. I'm like that, when I do something I tend to overdo it. Like thinking or worrying or whatever. Yeah, I'm an oddball. I get pleased listening to sounds of paper being torn, fingers tapping on a keyboard, the clinking of cutleries against dinner plates, the sound when you stack tin cans of tuna/sardine/whatever on top of each other and so many more I can't list them here. I think I'll prolly get a monster orgasm if I keep hearing over and over again.
LOL. Just kidding of course. =P
I guess it's because these little things which amuses us ever so easily play a very insignificant role in our daily lives. I wouldn't really say it is amusement that we feel but that's the closest word that I feel matches to the feeling.
What I'm referring to is the feeling you get when you hear, see or do something that somewhat amuses you. Like for example, for me I like the sound of rustling paper or the crunching of dry leaves on the ground. Or the sound of high heels against wooden floor. Or the sound of tyres against the gravel. Also not to forget the sort of satisfying feeling you get when you burst a pimple or boil and the pus comes oozing out. Yeah, it's disgusting I know but it does gives a feeling of satisfaction.
Usually you hear these little sounds of rustling and crunching pretty clearly in movies. Maybe some don't notice it because they're paying more attention to the overall movie. But me, I tend to pick up these little sounds and just...I don't know be amused. I'm not saying it's a bad or good thing. It's just something that I believe can be related to almost anyone.
I'm very attentive to changes of sounds around me. There was once when I was young I only started noticing how many different "little" sounds there were that I disregarded before. Honestly, I became quite irked by that and for one time thought maybe I was hearing things or that I was gonna go deaf or something. Yeah, I was around 9 at that time. I noticed the sound we get in our ears when we swallow liquids and then got so obsessed with all the other little sounds. I didn't tell my parents or anyone though, was too afraid they might tell me I'm sick. Haha. But I got over it soon enough.
Now, I try not to listen too intently to something. Usually when I sleep I try to shut out every little sound or else I'd be awake the whole night. I'm like that, when I do something I tend to overdo it. Like thinking or worrying or whatever. Yeah, I'm an oddball. I get pleased listening to sounds of paper being torn, fingers tapping on a keyboard, the clinking of cutleries against dinner plates, the sound when you stack tin cans of tuna/sardine/whatever on top of each other and so many more I can't list them here. I think I'll prolly get a monster orgasm if I keep hearing over and over again.
LOL. Just kidding of course. =P
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Random Rants (1)
A few hours ago, I was sitting in the car waiting for my parents to do their stuff at the bank. Right opposite where our car was parked was a KTV & Lounge. I saw a group of men emerged. They look like your everyday men. Plain T-Shirts and khaki shorts. One of them, the chubby one was thoroughly drunk. I mean like seriously. Heck, he almost fell off the steps and almost got knocked by a motorcycle.
He grabbed a helmet from his friend's bike (those hugeee ones that costs like rm200k) and stumbled his way across the road. I had no idea why he did that. While crossing the road, he walked towards my car for a bit. For that moment, I had a fleeting fear that he might hit the car or something. But then he turned away and walked towards a vacant car and leaned against it.
Just then my parents came back and his friend revved up the bike. I saw him struggled up the bike and then zoomed off.
I have no idea why I'm posting it up. But I just find what I saw rather ... disturbing. No, it's not the first time I've seen a drunk man. I've encountered others where once the drunkard was spouting utter rubbish to me about what kinda men to trust. *scoffs* Yeah right, surely not men like you.
Anyway, I suppose why I'm blogging about this is because I find it oppressive. Or disgusted. People actually do that to themselves even when they know how detrimental it is to themselves. Especially smoking. I don't show my disgust expressively and openly. Usually I just mind my own business while I ignore you smoking your life away. But when there are inconsiderate bastards involved, that is when I start to get mad.
Like the other day when we went to the driving center for our test. We were told to wait in this open hall. It was sweltering hot and it was really packed with people. And to make it worse these dumbass people start smoking. Right in front of us. One after another. After one fella is done, we would sigh in relieve but then to our dismay another one will sit opposite us and lit a cigarette.
God, why can't they do it away from everyone? Is it so hard just to step out into the open air and puff away? Grr...
And those people there for the exam were most probably my age. Sad huh? The corrupted minds of today's youth. Tsk tsk tsk.
He grabbed a helmet from his friend's bike (those hugeee ones that costs like rm200k) and stumbled his way across the road. I had no idea why he did that. While crossing the road, he walked towards my car for a bit. For that moment, I had a fleeting fear that he might hit the car or something. But then he turned away and walked towards a vacant car and leaned against it.
Just then my parents came back and his friend revved up the bike. I saw him struggled up the bike and then zoomed off.
I have no idea why I'm posting it up. But I just find what I saw rather ... disturbing. No, it's not the first time I've seen a drunk man. I've encountered others where once the drunkard was spouting utter rubbish to me about what kinda men to trust. *scoffs* Yeah right, surely not men like you.
Anyway, I suppose why I'm blogging about this is because I find it oppressive. Or disgusted. People actually do that to themselves even when they know how detrimental it is to themselves. Especially smoking. I don't show my disgust expressively and openly. Usually I just mind my own business while I ignore you smoking your life away. But when there are inconsiderate bastards involved, that is when I start to get mad.
Like the other day when we went to the driving center for our test. We were told to wait in this open hall. It was sweltering hot and it was really packed with people. And to make it worse these dumbass people start smoking. Right in front of us. One after another. After one fella is done, we would sigh in relieve but then to our dismay another one will sit opposite us and lit a cigarette.
God, why can't they do it away from everyone? Is it so hard just to step out into the open air and puff away? Grr...
And those people there for the exam were most probably my age. Sad huh? The corrupted minds of today's youth. Tsk tsk tsk.
Oh Noes. Writer's Block.
I know it's been ages since I last updated this blog. Been having the writer's block for a quite a while. Nothing around me seem to inspire or help in ideas of what to write. And I'm starting to feel as though I've lost that...I don't know. Like I've lost the ability to come up with great ideas and translate them into written text. In short, I think I seem to have "lost" the ability to write! =/
Gah. These few months sitting at home doing absolutely nothing is not doing any good for me. Everyday I wake up having to go through the same thing. I can't even call it a routine because for it to be a routine it has to be filled with some sort of activity. But for me it's like:-
10:30am: Open eyes, roll around in bed for a while.
11:00am: Go downstairs to make myself brunch. Usually it's some sort of nutritious drink.
11:15am: Lock myself in my room and sit in front of my PC.
12:30pm: Wake Teddy up so he can get ready for work.
1:00pm: Watch some videos or play some games or read interesting stuff up on the Internet.
4:00pm: Eyes start to feel tired. Takes a nap.
6:00pm: Go downstairs in time to see Mom come home.
6:30pm: Dinner time.
7:00pm: Take Princess for a walk with my mom.
7:30pm: Have my shower and then plops myself on the chair right in front of my PC.
Late in the night: Heads to bed.
And the same thing repeats again the next day.
I know. It's saddening.
Gah. These few months sitting at home doing absolutely nothing is not doing any good for me. Everyday I wake up having to go through the same thing. I can't even call it a routine because for it to be a routine it has to be filled with some sort of activity. But for me it's like:-
10:30am: Open eyes, roll around in bed for a while.
11:00am: Go downstairs to make myself brunch. Usually it's some sort of nutritious drink.
11:15am: Lock myself in my room and sit in front of my PC.
12:30pm: Wake Teddy up so he can get ready for work.
1:00pm: Watch some videos or play some games or read interesting stuff up on the Internet.
4:00pm: Eyes start to feel tired. Takes a nap.
6:00pm: Go downstairs in time to see Mom come home.
6:30pm: Dinner time.
7:00pm: Take Princess for a walk with my mom.
7:30pm: Have my shower and then plops myself on the chair right in front of my PC.
Late in the night: Heads to bed.
And the same thing repeats again the next day.
I know. It's saddening.
How Real Can You Get?
Realists are people who look at the world according to its objective facts. They see the world in its literal form and do not focus on its abstract and idealistic ideas. Basically realists are people who practice realism.
I'm a bit of a realist myself. I only believe and consider things that are somewhat objective facts. One of my top principles is to be realistic. There is no point putting all your beliefs and trust upon something which deep down you know isn't achievable or maybe the chances of it happening are low. Yes, we can dream and hope but not to an extent that we somehow convinced ourselves that it can actually happen. Because if we do believe in something fantasy so bad then we're making ourselves vulnerable to something hard and cold which we call - reality.
The way one should handle a perfect balance between fantasy and reality is to not treat both of them with impudence. One usually starts with a dream or fantasy which he/she would really yearn to achieve. He/she could choose to continue dwelling within his/her fantasy bubble or to assess and analyze his/her current real situation and concluding whether that dream can
attained. Dreams can be great motivators and triggers to real action plans. But actually it depends on the dream itself. If it really is something out of this world that it's best to obviate that dream.
Personally, one of the worst dreams to have is to dream to meet your favourite actor/singer. Well I'm not saying it's bad or what but it is definitely a waste of time because I very much doubt your favourite actor/singer will know who you are and appreciate all the time you spent fantasizing about them. So be realistic and realize that your favourite actor/singer aren't a god/goddess. They're ordinary people like you and me making business out of a huge array of dreamers.
With that being said, learn to discern between what is realistic or not. It is not necessarily wrong to dream and hope because those are the precursors to success. Just be real.
I'm a bit of a realist myself. I only believe and consider things that are somewhat objective facts. One of my top principles is to be realistic. There is no point putting all your beliefs and trust upon something which deep down you know isn't achievable or maybe the chances of it happening are low. Yes, we can dream and hope but not to an extent that we somehow convinced ourselves that it can actually happen. Because if we do believe in something fantasy so bad then we're making ourselves vulnerable to something hard and cold which we call - reality.
The way one should handle a perfect balance between fantasy and reality is to not treat both of them with impudence. One usually starts with a dream or fantasy which he/she would really yearn to achieve. He/she could choose to continue dwelling within his/her fantasy bubble or to assess and analyze his/her current real situation and concluding whether that dream can
attained. Dreams can be great motivators and triggers to real action plans. But actually it depends on the dream itself. If it really is something out of this world that it's best to obviate that dream.
Personally, one of the worst dreams to have is to dream to meet your favourite actor/singer. Well I'm not saying it's bad or what but it is definitely a waste of time because I very much doubt your favourite actor/singer will know who you are and appreciate all the time you spent fantasizing about them. So be realistic and realize that your favourite actor/singer aren't a god/goddess. They're ordinary people like you and me making business out of a huge array of dreamers.
With that being said, learn to discern between what is realistic or not. It is not necessarily wrong to dream and hope because those are the precursors to success. Just be real.
The Real "Start"
It's 2008 already and I spent a few days of the first week of 2008 in Bandung, Indonesia from 3th Jan to 6th Jan. I went with my mom and we spent a hell of time shopping at the factory outlets. Then, on the our very last night there I got attacked by food poisoning and fever. It was pretty bad. I regurgitated about 7 times and had diarrhea about 5 times. I was so drained out that while in the waiting hall at Bandung's airport I nearly fainted.
When we touched down at KL I felt instantly better. Nothing feels better than being back home. Seriously, I will never ever step foot again in Indonesia. One of the scariest and unentertaining places to be in.
Well anyway, this year would be the real start for me as I'll be attending college soon after I get my SPM results. I'm currently working hard on figuring out on all the available options. It's too bad that I only found out about certain useful information right now because it's a little too late for me to take action already. One such as like applying to need-based universities in the US. If I have found out earlier I would have taken the initiative to send applications. Sigh. Oh well. Guess I'll be able to review other options when I attend The Star Education Fair this weekend.
Til' the next post then.
When we touched down at KL I felt instantly better. Nothing feels better than being back home. Seriously, I will never ever step foot again in Indonesia. One of the scariest and unentertaining places to be in.
Well anyway, this year would be the real start for me as I'll be attending college soon after I get my SPM results. I'm currently working hard on figuring out on all the available options. It's too bad that I only found out about certain useful information right now because it's a little too late for me to take action already. One such as like applying to need-based universities in the US. If I have found out earlier I would have taken the initiative to send applications. Sigh. Oh well. Guess I'll be able to review other options when I attend The Star Education Fair this weekend.
Til' the next post then.