"I"

Sometimes I get ideas at odd and weird times. Like I got this sudden epiphany to write this post while I was scrubbing the floor at one of my parents' apartments for rent.

Yeah anyway, the topic to discuss here is about the word "I."

Okay I suppose it is only relevant if I begin with the definition of the word "I."

I, i
–pronoun

1.	the nominative singular pronoun, used by a speaker in referring to himself or herself.

"I" is one of the most commonly used word by everyone. But did you know "I" is one of the most selfish words? Well maybe not under certain circumstances but generally yes it is a very selfish word.

The instance you start with the word "I" it already indicates selfishness. Like okay if I say "I love you" to you, I am being selfish. Why? Because I'm saying that "I" love you, and only I can. No one else is mentioned. I'm only talking about myself. That is already being selfish. But maybe not selfish in a horribly bad way. Just subtle enough to be dismissed.

I'm not saying "I" is a bad word to use. I'm just bringing up what I realised. This is just an innocent discussion where we just sit and share our opinions. I always try to point out in my posts that I'm not looking to start a flame session but just sharing my ideas. But regardless of that there are still people who must have missed that because they'll reply with something defensive.

This is because (if you notice) I use a lot of "I"s when writing here. Like I said, "I" is a very selfish word. In sentences beginning with "I" it does not express selfishness expressively but rather implicitly. So perhaps some readers might feel that I'm being very selfish here because all I talk about is about how "I" think.

Another selfish word that can go along with "I" very well is "want." The moment you say "I want", it already means you're being selfish.

"I want you to do this"

That is the ultimate selfish command. It's not a request but a command. It's saying that "I" want you to do it, not because they, he, she or yourself. It doesn't sound pleasant either. Whenever people start with "I want you to...", I get a little agitated already. Isn't it much more accommodating to use "Can you do ... for me?" It doesn't sound as selfish as the other one and it is a request, not a command.

Sometimes people don't realise how selfish saying "I want you to..." sounds. Perhaps because that sentence comprise of words that are so commonly used. And because it's used so commonly that people just forget the precise meaning of it. It's almost like phrases or words that are used ubiquitously like hmm... "Road tax." I don't know about others but my parents pronounce it as "ro-tex." It's like words like these are spoken so often that people just say it for the sake of saying it. They don't pay attention to the meaning, hence it comes out being "ro-tex."

Yeah so sometimes people don't realise how selfish they can sound even when they're not really expressively meaning it. Haha I think I went a little off-track there. I was supposed to be talking about how selfish "I" is. Oh well. This is gonna end here. Till the next post then. ;)

A Little Preoccupied

Hmm I know it's been ages since I last updated. It's because lately I can't seem to find enough time to actually sit down here.

Anyway, it's Christmas Eve today and I'll probably start posting something after Christmas.

Merry Xmas everyone! And a Happy Coming New Year!

A Little "Me" Time

"Me" time refers to the little period of time where you spent being on your own without external disturbances. It is a time when you do the little things that pleases and gratifies yourself. It is also a time when you forget about everything else on your mind and just loosen up. Having short periods of "me" time is important in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Usually those who often forget and is in need of a little "me" time are wives and mothers. Many times when asked to take a break they'll say they have too much work to do and if they don't do, no one else would. Well I wouldn't allude that as something bad but sometimes it is essential to forget about being selfless and be selfish. Just insist that you will not be bothered and then devote some time taking care of yourself.

That's the general idea of "me" time.

For me the way I spend my little "me" times just sitting alone in my room. I especially love the short periods of time when I'm alone at home. I just love the peacefulness, silence and stillness. Sometimes I'll turn off the music player and concentrate on the other sounds we usually ignore or just concentrate on my thoughts.

This pretty much shows how introverted I can get during particular times. To me, the power to think in man is probably the greatest advantage we have above all other living organism. So since I'm err blessed with this "gift" of being able to think and process so many thoughts, I take it as a good thing and don't think of it as con that makes me an oddball.

Anyway, right now I'm ending this post right here. It's very rare I get to be alone at home so I'm gonna make full use of it for my own way of spending a little "me" time.

Something I've Always Wanted To Write

I've written and published something on this website. I think the topic is pretty sensitive. So those who are religious I advise that you do not even attempt to take a peek at it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

My piece at Helium.com

Just something I read in SPM Biology Paper 1

During my Biology Paper 1 in SPM, I read something that made me think a little. It just struck me there and then when I read it. It was something to do with ecology.

There it stated :-

Community: Several species of organisms which live together in the same place.

Now you may wonder why I would find this statement blogworthy. It's something like in one of those widely forwarded emails where it's about how funny and weird English is. You have "Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? ", "Why is abbreviation such a long word?", and many more. I find all these things fun to read because you get so used to the things we see in everyday life that we don't notice its intricate details.

Like what I read in Biology Paper 1. When I read that line immediately I had this thought of how we used the word "community" to describe a group of people in an area. I know the definition of community differ in the field of ecology from society but still I find it humorously disturbing. Right, according to the definition of community in ecology it means different species living in a same area. So if the same definition is to be applied to human society then it would mean that the people in the community aren't of the same species which means that every single individual in a community stand as its own and autonomous species.

Funny huh? But maybe it has some fact, perhaps the meaning of "species" in this context is used to refer to the different classes and statuses of people in a community. So I suppose the richer and more successful people would be classified as the "superior species" while the poorer and less successful people would be labeled as the "inferior species." It sounds like the typical nature of human. I mean animals do that too like there's working ants and soldier ants but do we (humans) have to go so far as to called others a different species?

Hmm...humans. We're the best thing that ever happened to the Earth and the worst too.

Ran Out Of Potatoes

Oh crap. I couldn't find anymore potatoes in the potatoes.

Looked around the kitchen and couldn't decide what else to cook so I just took my organic health drink. Yeah, you heard right. I eat organic stuff. It's some dark green drink mixture that reminds me of a swamp. It's green and lumpy which makes me think of the green vegetation that grows over the surface of swamps. Ugh.

But I suppose it's better for me if I take the ever-so-gross-organic-drink as everyone (my mom and bro) is telling me that I've put on weight. =( I need to loose some weight before prom night or else I won't be able to fit in my dress.

Speaking of which yesterday I went out to Mid Valley and tried out some dresses at Sub.

I think I've put on some weight. Ugh. I'm letting myself go back to how I was two years ago. I need to control my desire to relish everything.

"Beauty is only glacial."

I watched a movie yesterday with Teddy. We watched Beowulf. Like the movie 300 I had zero idea of how the story goes and only went to see it because my partner wanted to (sorry Teddy!).



But like 300 I ended up liking it although I find the first half of it pretty disturbing for the story and the gore. It's created entirely through motion capture (those who don't know it means it's animated). And it's an adaptation of an old English epic poem with a lot mythical creatures, demons and monsters.

Ooh yeah the guy at the popcorn counter gave me a candy cane.
Confession: I ate it already. =(

P.S. I might do a "serious topic" post tonight. It's something that I read during my Biology Paper 1 exam during SPM.

Moving In Here

I think I'll be making a change and use this blog as my main outlet for all my opinions, rants, thoughts and petty ramblings. It'll help me keep a constant stream of posts as I no longer have to restrict non-serious posts to my Friendster blog.

I'm looking forward to starting this already. =) I'll keep my (almost non-existent) readers posted.

Ciao for now. Headed to cook lunch for myself. Think I'll do my yummy potato cheese soup. Here's a picture I took the last time I made it.

Majority Wins? Not All The Time.

(Note: As promised SPM is now over and I finally can find time to write here. From now on, I'll try to be active in this blog.)

Recently, there was this meeting held by the residence of my street. The main issue of discussion was regarding the security in my area. Robberies at parang point has been rampant in my area. There were about at least 10 cases of robbery during the past two months. I know, my place sounds really dodgy and unsafe, that is the reason why that meeting was held.

Anyway as I was saying, during that meeting there was a voting session about whether to construct a bar to block access to our street via the little lane connecting us to the next parallel street. It's rather obvious that those with enough consideration would not agree. But since the decision was made through a voting system where majority wins, (I still cannot comprehend how most people think) the bar is to be constructed.

Really, some people think for themselves only and do not consider the convenience of others. It's a shame that the majority of people is made up of ignorant and self-centered human beings. This the very reason why we need a leader to decide certain things for everyone else. Because sometimes the way majority of people want things to be solved isn't the best solution. A leader plays a vital role in ensuring that not every single demand made by society should be approved. If laws were passed based on the concept of simple majority, then it would result in society possessing immunity against the rightful consequences of their actions. This is because man is known to be a selfish being. It is an innate characteristic that we all have. The only difference between each individual is whether he/she allows that selfishness to play a dominant role in his/her life.

It is understandable though that we have to be selfish at some point, it depends on the situation. But about what's happening in my area, it is simply at act of wrong sort of selfishness. In our street we already have a boom gate with a little guard house there and now they are asking to bar up the little lan that leads from my street to the next. I'll draw a diagram to illustrate.

Right now, my dad (he's the elected Chairman of our residence association) is constructing boom gates at the entrance of the other streets including the one next to mine. But then a group of the residence here had a vote and won against my dad and a few others to fix a permanent bar to completely block any access into our street. One end already has a boom gate which will be closed permanently from 9pm to 7am whereas the other end has a guard house.

It's not that it's not good to have tighter security but the construction of a permanent bar in the little lane should not be done without considering the convenience of the people from the next street. It is so obvious that some people in my street only think for themselves.

Grrr...

But what can we do? The voting system was based on the concept of simple majority where the one with the highest amount of votes win. However, that does not mean the decision made is the right one. Like my dad said, "We may have lost but that does not mean we throw away our principle and join them." He said those who voted yes to constructing a permanent bar would have to answer to the complains of the next street. He would not have a say or comment about that as it isn't his principle to do such thing.

Oh well. There's always a larger percentage of people with a flawed way of thinking. Not that the smaller percentage is perfect but as least they are aware of their flaws. And these people are those to be chosen as leaders of the larger percentage of people. Without them the majority of people would not stand a chance of surviving against each other. That's a fact for sure.

Adults are humans too

(I am so sorry for the long delays between posts but I assure you in about 4 weeks time I would be able to update regularly)


It is ubiquitous to hear children say "My parents don't understand me." But as far as that goes, it is natural for us to look up to them as role models. Actually it includes other adults too such as maybe your uncle or neighbor. We being younger would always expect them to do righteous acts and show good examples.

That's where we forget that adults are humans too. Perhaps it's because they've always been the one lecturing and giving us advices that it somehow implanted a sort of high perception we have of the person. We may not realise what's happening and still consciously think that they do not understand your views on certain things.

It usually happens when you've known an adult for a very long time. For years you've smiled and shared daily conversations with him/her while formulating a certain kind of respect for that person. Then comes one day when you hear or see that adult perform a wrong act. For sure you would feel a little disappointed and let down because you never knew that he/she would do something like that. You've always expected him/her to be honest, fair, profound, impregnable to greed and so on. Yes, you are aware that both of you might not have the same concept of things but still you've never thought he/she would go wrong.

An example, I had this neighbor for more than 6 or 7 years. I would greet and smile at him every time we met. I've always had this idea that he was a friendly, honest and prepared to help. To make it simple, I had a kind of respect for him. Then one day, I learnt something about him. It was unpleasant news to me. The high opinion and respect I had for him shattered. I just expected differently of him.

After that, I stopped smiling and greeting him that frequently. I mean I still do just not like how I used to. It changed my entire perception of him.

So how older people act in front of us younger people may be very oblique. The true selves might be very disparate from how they carry themselves in front of us. And because of that we unknowingly form an idea of them with only the good values. We forget that adults too are humans.

Skepticism

Many people perceive of me to be someone really gullible. But in opposition to that, I am not. It can easily be said that I am a pretty skeptical person myself. Just ask my close friends. They'll tell you I don't fall to believe things that easily. There's always a "Really? Why?" question attached to any unconfirmed news that comes to ear.

Especially things about the unknown like ghosts and superstitions. When my friends gather around to tell this "spooky" tale of someone's relative, everyone else would be possibly mortified by whatever is told but me, I'll just listen and go on doing my work after the storyteller has finished. I suppose the more appropriate description of me is that I tend to think of things in a logical way. True, I love stories of the supernatural, paranormal and unexplained. However, that only go as far as to amuse myself. I have to see something with my own naked eyes to believe.

That of which brings about me being agnostic, which I believe is a better, more precise term to describe me rather than a nihilist or atheist. It means that I don't deny their existence but I don't believe in them either because there's no solid evidence whether or not they exist. With that explanation, please refrain from judging too quickly and hurtling inappropriate words at me. Thank you.

Sometimes I just wonder how myths, mysteries and superstitions come to exist. Like there's this myth that The Great Wall Of China can be seen from the moon? Yes, it is visible from low-Earth orbit as well as other structures like the Giza Pyramid and even airport runways. But from the moon? A total lie. And (lol) that five-second-rule that Jega always tells me. It's said that when food is dropped on the ground, it takes five seconds before it is swarmed by bacteria. Truth is, that little morsel of food is already contaminated the minute it hits the ground. Lastly, is that famous superstition that everyone does (including myself ) - exclaiming "Touch wood" after accidentally saying something that shouldn't be said like the death of someone. It actually makes zero sense, but we still do it, don't we?

So yeah, I believe these myths, mysteries and superstitions were created to amuse oneself and others or to scare people from doing certain things. Most people just carry on believing and doing these things but I don't. Why? Because like I said I prefer to see the logical side of things. =)

Life sucks? Then don't live it.

(Note: If you think your life sucks and really hate it then don't read this. I assure you that reading this will worsen your already "sucky" life)


"Life sux to da max"

I see that on so many people's online screen names, nicknames, messages, etc etc. Why, why, why are people like that? If your life sucks, then you wouldn't have a computer or Internet to share with the world how "sucky" your life is. A few times I spoke to these people who think that their life sucks and I asked them why so.

#1
Let's call this person A. I asked A why does life suck for him. A says because the girl he likes does not show any sign of returned feelings. So A concludes that his life "sux to da max."

#2
We shall name this person B. According to B, his life sucks because he doesn't have many friends, his teachers hate him and he thinks he's a failure at everything. As a conclusion, B says life "sux to da max."

#3
This person shall be called C. When asked, C said that life sucks because he never gets his wishes and he feels marginalised by society. To conclude that, C said life "sux to da max."

I know some of you would say that you don't actually mean it that life sucks in that way but I doubt saying that your life "sux to da max" will help mitigate whatever life's thrusting into your face at the moment. It's like you're intentionally trying to impede any sort of progress in life. You WANT life to suck, you WANT to sit in the corner and wallow in the suckiness of your life.

That's my opinion, I think that most of these people's life "sux to da max" is because of themselves. They think that it's because of people outside and don't realise that they themselves possess the prerogative to be content and satisfied with life.

And from the examples given above, because of little bumps on the road you already think that life "sux to da max". So maybe the girl/guy you have a crush on don't feel the same, but it's just a crush and if he/she doesn't want to waste time on you, you shouldn't do the same. Same goes for people who think they have no friends, you wanna know why? It's because all you do is sit there and drown in your life "sux to da max" whirlpool. Also, stop whining about not getting everything you want, this is real life, you can never get everything at once.

So you see, due to petty issues and problems of normal life, people claim that life "sux to da max". I mean if you perpetrated a crime and have been sentenced to a lifetime in prison then yeah I agree, life sucks for you. Or if you are forced to live on the streets and barely have enough money to feed yourself then yes I agree, life sucks. But if you just got ditched by your boyfriend/girlfriend of three months, life goes on and doesn't suck, mind you.

To conclude this, if you still claim that your life "sux to da max" and really wish it would be something different, then don't sit there telling the world your life sucks. Do something about it. Make a change, look into yourself and ask questions. Life wouldn't suck if you don't choose to see that side of it.

Male superiority

Just how true is male superiority? For centuries society has had this belief driven into their minds. The male gender was considered to be stronger and of more capable. Women would be ranked second and never given the chance to prove their potential. It really breaks and disappoints me to know that men of the times before had women degraded to such a level.

However, as we move into the modern times, people learnt about rights. Women were given rights to stand for themselves and not take any nonsense from the opposite gender. It was the right thing to do, to ensure that women don't get mistreated. Since then women worked hard to show that men and women are of equality.

But just how far can it be proved? Because from what I'm actually seeing now is that men tend to excel in certain things where women may find it hard to do. I'm not about to condemn my own gender. I'm just about to discuss what I have observed and noted down.

Firstly, most men would say that women are fickle-minded and indecisive and that it would impair their judgement. Well I don't understand why women are generalised to be fickle and indecisive. I mean aren't we all born as the same species with common bodily organs except for those few that draws a distinctive line between males and females but still we have most of what the opposite gender has. So why say women tend to be more fickle? What special part they have that men don't that contributes to them being fickle? I don't see no logic behind it.

But then you say, women now ARE actually being fickle and indecisive. I would say that the reason we, women act that way because of what was claimed long, long ago. That we are fickle. We get told so often that women are that way that it's driven into our minds thus promoting fickleness and indecisiveness in us. It's all psychological.

Anyway, I think I'm on the brink of being irrelevant to the subject that's supposed to be discussed. What I want to say is that certain things, women can't do better than men. It's not that women CAN'T do it, they can, but less well than men.

Like what you ask? Hmm ... let's see. I've been told by a friend that women can't make good music. And I agree. You don't think so? Well maybe it's just me then but I find songs done by male singers/band more filled with emotion and meaning. I don't know but I used to think I think that way because I prefer hearing a male voice but then when my friend told me that, I realised that it is true. Female singers/bands don't measure up to the opposite gender. Well of course there are excellent female singers especially the older seasoned ones but generally, women suck at music making.

Next, female talkers. As in like seminars and talks. I always find that male talkers spark more attention from the audience. They know how to make it more interesting. But like I said, it's not that women can't give talks, they can, fairly well but just not as good. Also, males tend to have better control of the crowd. It's like they possess this sorta gift that enables them to draw attention better without doing anything. Again, good female talkers do exist but not that easily sought.

There we have two examples in certain areas in which males triumph over females. I am a female myself but I'm not one to turn all feminist at the very moment when men talk about how males are better at certain areas. Because it is true, from my very own observations. But males don't get all chauvinistic now. You have your flaws as well.

Why The Angmohs Are Better

(Note: Maturity and open-mindedness is required to read what is posted below. Don't come with angry and insulted remarks when I've already warned you.)

I call it denial. A way of convincing oneself that one is better when in actual fact is inferior to the opposed. What I'm referring to is when people like us Malaysians compare ourselves to the Western community. We refuse to admit that they ARE progressing way better than we are. Even when it is true that the crime rate is higher over there and that they're way too "modernized", they always emerge better.

The question now here is why? Why is it that many Americans belong to the top 100 most influential people in the world and not Asians? What makes the US one of the strongest country today? What is it that they possess that we don't?

What I am thinking here is that we lack creativity. Like for example, it was the Chinese who discovered gunpowder. But it was the Europeans who improvised the recipe and usage of it. One thing about the Chinese is that they are always content with what they have, they don't try to make things better or expand the uses. I suppose it's part of their ancestral teachings or whatever to always appreciate what they have and never ask for more. But look how it slowed their progression.

Hmm...before you start thinking otherwise, I'm not worshiping the Westerners or anything. I'm not like gonna fall on the floor and kiss their toes. No, that would be ridiculous. I'm just stating the obvious. No matter how much effort you put in to deny the fact that we are inferior to them, it still remains a fact. But not all countries of Asia should be said to be like that, an example of an Asian country which showed great progression is Japan. During the World War II, Japan suffered a lot of damage, but look now, even with natural resources so scarce on their island, they are now the second-largest economy of the world.

Does it occur to you why? Let's not focus on comparing it to neighboring countries, let's just look at our country, Malaysia. I am sorry to say that Malaysians are a bunch of lazy people. We have first world infrastructures but a third world mentality. Look at the Japanese, they're really hardworking, disciplined and courteous people. And despite my dislike for their music and anime, I still cannot deny it that they tower way above us.

Okay, now I am gonna go into my theory why Asians are less progressive than the Westerners. I already noticed it a while ago but I only started really thinking about it during my trip to Langkawi. Right, it all starts when a child is born. Asian parents are really too protective over their children. They are so afraid to let them do a little exploring on their own and always insist on tying them down to their chair. Whereas in the Western community, I see many of the parents start exposing their young ones to the world at a very tender age. They're allowed to experience and discover things on their own. In Malaysia, parents always feel it's not right for them to know so much until they're older. We believe that we should always scold and punish them for being inquisitive and adventurous. What a way of thinking we have. (sigh)

What parents over here should do is to let loose a little. They're too tense and uptight. Many parents don't treat their children according to their age. Children should be treated like an adult once they reach a certain age like when they hit their teenage years. They should be trusted to be able to think and make decisions on their own account regardless whether it's right or wrong. Of course, parents' guidance and care are vital to ensure that their children do not stray too far from what's right but not so much until prevents them from venturing off on their own to learn new things.

So my conclusion is that, why we Asians always appear to grow and mature slower than the Westerners is because of our upbringing. We weren't allowed and were forbidden to know about too many things. It's never good to be overly conservative and pampering as it will not keep your children safe and protected but only make them weaker and unprepared for the real world they're bound to come into.

Perfectionism

(Note: I apologise for not updating for such a long time.)

Everyone knows nothing and no one is perfect. Our world is not created in balance. Even the Earth isn't perfectly a sphere. The deviations from a spherical shape is pretty small so we don't really notice the difference at all if we just look at in a picture or from the orbit. Also, the distribution of continents and oceans across the Earth is not symmetrical. So you see, we are surrounded by imperfections although they are not conspicuous and impossible to change. I believe that if we could alter that, we would go to great lengths to perfect it.

That's the nature of mankind. We insist to get the impossibly perfect things in life when in the back of our minds we know that it is not achievable. In fact, I think the word "perfect" shouldn't even exist. It gives wrong ideas and impressions to people. It confuses people to think that the "perfect" life would mean having everything in life immaculate and faultless. This is again a wrong assumption. The true meaning of leading a "perfect" life is to strive for the optimal present and future of life or state of living. It not only material but also spiritual, mental and physical.

Notice that the word "optimal" is used. It does not mean perfect, it mean the best that we can obtain from something. Another thing is that we tend to see perfection in only one light. For some people perfection may mean having a great physique or furthering their knowledge beyond anyone else. I am not saying it is a bad thing because it drives one to persevere and not give up. I admit I am somewhat a "perfectionist". I like having things done immaculately and flawless even though I am conscious of the fact that life can never be "perfect". People with this will find it hard to work in groups and pairs. They (and I) always place hope in attaining perfection. But like I said life isn't complaisant and it will only result in disappointment.

I find this matter on perfectionism a little hard to comprehend. It's a very subjective and wide topic. One can be easily misled by it. Like how some parents sometimes misunderstand the meaning of it and pressure their children to race after the impossible "perfection". I think it is excellence that is what they're really after. This can lead to bad results such as a damage in the child's confidence and cause them to fear failure so much to an extent that they start feeling afraid to venture into something new. A distinctive line should be instilled between perfection and excellence to prevent the children to be the receiving end of extreme perfectionism.

I think I should do further reading and research on this before I go on to avoid misinformation. It would do no good but debase me and my blog. Lol. I will try to write on another subject to make up for the long delay.

This post ends here.

Emotional Intelligence

Many disregard the importance of emotional intelligence (EQ). People tend to think that having the right amount of IQ alone will be sufficient in life. Even when down in the history books, it is a revelation that many brilliant men and women aren't exactly the smart kids in class. Many of those who failed miserably in class, underachieved or who have been relegated to life on the margin turned out to be one of the world's top people. However, despite this body of evidence, society has persisted in believing that success in school equals to success in life or at the very least - at the workplace.

This is an awful presumption. It is fundamentally based on the school system's rather restrictive way of measuring achievement. The book smarts are thrown into the limelight during the school years while the street smarts are marginalized. In society's mind, a person with a high IQ would be perfectly competent to be thrust upon the face of success. But first of all, what is success? I'll take a line from the book I'm currently reading. Let's see it this way, success defines the ability to set and achieve your personal and professional goals, whatever they may be.

It sounds simple, right? But as we age and gain experience and maturity, our personal definition of success will definitely ebb away and change. Most of the time it is depending on the role we are trying to fulfill at that moment. Like for example maybe as a student, or son/daughter or a good friend. We're committed to succeed in what our main concerns are at the moment. So, I guess it varies pretty much from every individual. Albeit that, it can be said that the general meaning of success remains a constant to most of us.

I'm not going to delve deep into this subject. It will be time and energy consuming if I do. Those who feel intrigued by this, you can go borrow or buy a book on emotional intelligence. Get one that's easy to comprehend, like the one I'm reading now called The EQ Edge by Steven Stein. Anyway, back to topic, some of us might not probably know what is this "Emotional Intelligence" about. To simplify matters, emotional intelligence is the ability to cope, to adapt and to get along with others. Emotional intelligence is divided into five blanket areas or realms:

1. Intrapersonal Realm
This concerns your ability to know and manage yourself. It involves:
- Self-Awareness
- Assertiveness
- Independence
- Self-Regard
- Self-Actualization

2. Interpersonal Realm
Concerning your "people skills" - your ability to interact and get along with others, it is composed of three scales:
- Empathy
- Social Responsibility
- Interpersonal Relationships

3. Adaptability Realm
This involves your ability to be flexible and realistic and to solve problems when they arise. There are three scales:
- Reality Testing
- Flexibility
- Problem Solving

4. Stress Management Realm
This realm concerns your ability to tolerate stress and control impulses. Its two scales are:
- Stress Tolerance
- Impulse Control

5. The General Mood Realm
This realm also has two scales:
- Optimism
- Happiness

Okay, now that you've got a general idea of what emotional intelligence I am sure that you're able to discern the differences between IQ and EQ. In short, IQ is just a measure of an individual's intellectual, analytical, logical and rational abilities. Mostly, it is concerned with verbal, spatial, visual and mathematical skills. It gauges how readily we learn new things; focus on tasks; retain and recall objective information; engage in a reasoning process; manipulate numbers; think abstractly as well as analytically; and to solve problems by applying knowledge gained prior to that. If you happen to have a high IQ, I can tell you that you're well equipped to pass all sorts of examinations with flying colours. However, I am not able to tell if you will do well in life later on. Without much emotional intelligence, you will find it hard to navigate your way in our complex world - the personal, social and survival aspects of overall intelligence, the elusive common sense and sensitivity that are essential to effective daily functioning.

In our everyday language, emotional intelligence is referred to as "street smarts" or maybe "common sense". It has to do with the ability to read the political and social environment, to intuitively grasp what others want or need, what their strengths and weaknesses are; to remain unwavered by stress; and to be the kind of person that others are comfortable with. As a conclusion, emotional intelligence reassuringly plays a significantly large role in having a successful life. Of course, it would be even better if both IQ and EQ come hand-in-hand. But I think even if you have a low IQ but higher EQ, you would have an equal chance of doing well in life. I also think that schools should try to insinuate the concept emotional intelligence and not only focus on how "book smart" a person is.

Right, so that's my little explanation regarding emotional intelligence. Hope you find it comprehensible. If you don't or you would like to discuss over this matter with me, please be informed that I am on MSN almost 24/7. And also I only welcome mature feedbacks. No childish insults or flaming. =)

Quantity Over Quality?

Basically this is what Malaysia is all about. It's always about paying extra for some cheapskate stuff or marrying three or four wives or having too many kids and recently, competing to see how many subjects a single candidate can sit for in SPM. I mean what's the whole point of this? To prove that, hey, I have more so I'm better than you? Crap.

What I really don't have a slight tinge of idea of is why do some people chose to have an abnormally higher number of offsprings especially those who are financially contrained? Seriously, they would have realised by then that their life isn't actually what you call a luxury. Or do they oftenly get frissons and think, "Hey! Let's go make more babies because I just feel like it now!" Or could it be that maybe they can't afford any other sort of entertainment other than sex? And when they have sex did they choose not to wear a condom because it's not "syok" or condoms are not available in their local shops. It can't be that they can't afford to buy them because they don't really cost much.

Perhaps it might be the misconception that some people have that with more children they'll have more financial support as it is multiplied by the number of children they have. But does having so many children produce the desired quality? No, I don't think so. And why create so many individual life-forms to grow up surrounded by poverty? Does it really do any good? I mean yeah, of course they deserve every right to bear a child or two, but if you can't make it in life successfully then don't even try to be responsible of another's life. Imagine the social pressure that would impinge upon the children's daily life. Sigh.

And of course, the latest trend. Registering for as many SPM subjects as possible. Last year, it was that girl who got 17A1s and this year I heard it was another girl with 19A1s. So what next? 20A1s? It is a rather confounding matter to me. What's the point of taking every single available subject when later in life you can only choose to concentrate on one field? Does taking so many subjects prove anything other than that you're just like the typical Malaysian who thinks that quantity matter over quality? And imagine all those time wasted studying all those extra subjects which you won't ever need later in life. Those time could have been spent on much more productively on things that would actually help in the future.

However, decisions on taking more than the usual number of subjects may be influenced by our education system. In primary and secondary schools, there are no two ways to be the top student. All you have to do is to "swallow" as many textbooks as you can. That's all there is to it. BUT that is only during primary and secondary school years. The real challenge is when you step up into colleges/universities and later on into work life. It is a whole new different ball game and swallowing textbooks would not work as well as they did in primary and secondary education.

Honestly, in my opinion, taking as many as 19 subjects will not be revelant in life. The only thing that can be deduced from the number of As is how hardworking you are or maybe the ability of your brain power. The number of As you get in SPM does not necessarily determine your future. Your personal attitude and your ability to learn new things is what that counts.

People, judged from the highest perspective (Part 2)

(Note: This is a continuation. Refer to the previous post if neccessary.)

"I am different, I am not like others."

You hear that being said so many times by so many people. Each one of them claims to be different. But how can you be different if there are like thousands of others claiming to be the same thing?

First of all, allow me to do some clarification. I used Dictionary.com for reference.

different /ˈdɪfərənt, ˈdɪfrənt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciatio
1. not alike in character or quality; differing; dissimilar

peculiar
1. uncommon; unusual

Do you see the differences yet? No? I thought so.

Right, different defines the dissimilarities in people. Like I said in the previous post, every single person is made differently. We are in no way similar to the person next to us. Outwardly, appearances or even personalities may seem comparable, but inside, no one is ever the same.

However, peculiar here carry the meaning of being distinctive or exceptional. It means being extraordinary, outside the norm or unlike the rest.

If you still are skeptical, you can visit Dictionary.com and look up on the word "different" and "peculiar". You will never find "peculiar" as a synonym for "different".

Anyway, coming back to the central of discussion, what most people are trying so hard to be is to be peculiar. But honestly in my opinion, you don't try to be peculiar or to feel peculiar. If you truly are a peculiar person you don't have to make an effort to be peculiar, you just are. Deliberately trying to be different makes you a fake. A poseur (also known as a poser).

Not too long ago, my mom said something to me that led me to conjuring up my own theory. Like I said above, no one is ever the same. We are ALL unique. But some of us are trying so hard to fake being peculiar to gain recognition and because so many are deliberately trying to be peculiar, it results in no one being original. To be peculiar you have to be authentic, you have to stand out. This peculiarity is something inherent. We all have the potential to be outstanding. To be the rose among the daisies or the peacock among the crows. So the conclusion to my theory is that to be peculiar is to be yourself, act yourself. There is some truth to it when they say "Just be yourself". But adamant beings we are, unable to break away from the majority of people, the daises or the crows or whatever you wish to label it as.

I suppose I should probably end this right here. There would be many, many posts if I continue sharing my thoughts on people. I know it's none of my business how others act but we are entitled to our own opinions, no? No one can change the way another person is. It is up to that single person to change. Nothing we say can change a person's character even though it may seem possible at certain times. And we should not let others influence the way we think.

"...

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul."

- Invictus, William Ernest Henley

(P.S I'm sorry if it took me so long to update but I really am unable to find enough time)

People, judged from the highest perspective

(Caution: This post contains major stereotyping. People who are not able to respect (or read my title) opinions of others, please stay away.)

One of the biggest conundrums in life (at least to me) is the character of people. I can't help but stop and wonder why did they turn out the way they are. Some people might say that it might be their upbringing or family background. But when I look a little closer, I see - no their parents aren't like them. Neither are their siblings or aunts or cousins etc etc. So the only inference that I can speculate is their surroundings. The people around them. And most importantly, their peers, which will lead to another issue, comformity (I will elaborate more on that in the next post).

People are made up of different things. These "things" which I'm referring to are the characters, traits, qualities, habits and so on of people. All these are like building blocks which comes in different colors and shapes. Everyone is built in their own special and unique way. Some might have a little more variety while some may only have a few.

What puzzles me is who gets to determine how the person will be built? Using which block? And why that one? Most people would answer that it is ourselves who get to determine how we want to be built. That we are our own architect, contractor, brick-layer and so on. But we are rather unaware of how susceptible we are to outside influences. They too play a fairly large part in deciding how and which blocks would be used. But of course it doesn't mean that we have to let others take the rein. We have the ability to discern what's right and wrong.

On contrary to that, we still see many bad apples everywhere. Blessed we are with the power to distinguish between right and wrong but yet people are still acting in such an apathetic way. Undeniably, they failed to do the right thing. Or rather, they chose to do the wrong thing. I mean what's so great with being rebellious. Does it make you cool? No, you don't. Instead you'll be looked down upon.

In this post I would like to emphasize more on adolescents. Teenagers. It's one of the more crucial stages in life. During this short period of time, you're expected to map out how exactly the next 40 years of your life would be. A friend once said to me, "Isn't it a pity that during this time of our life we have to decide how we're going to live for the rest of our lives?" Do I agree with her? No, I don't. The years we have between the age of 13 and 20 aren't meant to be wasted on dalliance. And it is at this time where we are at our strongest point. We're strong and healthy. And most of all, we're free from all major life responsibilities.

It is at this time where we start developing our identity. Or rather only some of us. The reason I say that is because of the living proof I see around me. Teenagers with fully matured bodies but with brains of a 6-year-old. And guess what? They're proud of it. They're proud to say, "Hey! I listen to rap and you don't so you're old fashioned" or "I'm much more matured than you are because I've already had sex".

You see how twisted the way a teenager's mind work? I'm not implying that all teenagers are this way. I'm just making a general statement. We (I'm saying "we" because I admit that I sometimes act in this way too) put ourselves in such a position that we feel we're superior to others. We're all irate teenagers. Emotions all jumbled up inside us. Those who are able to sift through the right and wrong would satisfy their anger in a much more constructive way such as pushing themselves to work harder to prevent further disappointments. Others who lacked integrity would vent their anger at others and along the way they would lose those around them.

(I fear that this will turn into yet another long post. Hence, I will stop right here and hope later there will be an ensuing post as I've still much to prattle on about. This post ends here.)

Another blog, another me

In case you don't know, I already have one in Friendster which I've been using for more than a year. But since I found out that my mind works in a way similar to an intellectual's mind (maybe not entirely the same), I felt that it incumbent upon myself that I create a new blog where I could freely write about the ever increasing thoughts in my mind. Somehow, I find the blog in Friendster erm...difficult for me to express my thoughts. Maybe it's the colors, or the layout or the fact that it's a "Friendster" blog. Anyhow, it somehow restricts the flow of my creative juices.

I have split personalities. Well, not exactly split personalites but something close enough to that. Many and perhaps all people I know in real life only see the superficial me. Even my best friends, they don't see me the way I am now. Perhaps only a hint of it. Most people regard me as any other typical quite, shy and timid girl. Maybe it might be because I chose to be discreet about the inner me.

People love being superficial. They put a barrier between their deeper, more conscious selves and their superficial selves. I personally don't believe that any person can be as shallow as to how they present themselves. Maybe they find it hard to express themselves and then chose to act the way they are acting now because they find it much easier. I know that because sometimes I think I am like that. I'm afraid that people will take me as someone weird and unfitting. It really sucks when you happen to be marginalized just because the way your mind work is different from the others. I've been told many times by many people that I always "think too much", or "think way out of the box". Sometimes I feel hurt that people judge me just by the way I think. I mean I'm sorry if I don't happen to be as apathetic as you are. I just can't help being the way I am. I didn't beg to have all these thoughts put into my head. Sometimes I find it rather disturbing to have so many questions and ideas swimming around the pool of thoughts in my head.

I wasn't like this a year before. Maybe I was, but not like this. Since I was very young, I've always had this feeling that I might be different. I always wondered "why me?". I felt as if I was chosen for something which I have no clue about (please don't take this too seriously, this was something that was going through 7-year-old girl's mind). I used to think that everyone else thought the way I thought and when I tried to talk to them about it, they'll just be silent and look at me quietly. I then learned that showing your true self might result in people thinking you're weird.

So then, I started developing this other character in me. The one's that the total opposite of me when I'm alone and free to be myself. In front of others I'm like mask acting, the only expressions they can see is whatever that's being portrayed by my mask. But behind the mask is what they truly failed to see. That's how people judge me now. By the mask I put on.

However, as I grew older and gained maturity, I felt the need to assert myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this to elicit attention from people who once disregarded me. I'm doing this for myself. It helps me in a way that I get to write about the ideas or emotions that has been held inside for a very long time. Through writing I'm able to express myself the best. I've discovered that in me a long time ago. I still remember the time when I first told my dad that I wanted to try my hand at writing. I was about 8 or 9 and by then I had started reading R.L Stine's Goosebumps books. Reading those books gave me various ideas and plots to start writing my own stories. I learnt that I could write easily, without the need to sit down and plan how every little detail in the story goes. My hand would just move continuously across the paper as ideas spontaneously form in my mind. Since then, I've always used writing as a way to express myself. I believe that everyone should find a way to express themselves. It needn't be through writing, it could be through drawing or composing songs or whatever suits them. On the other hand, I think people should be chary with their thoughts too. Because we can't expect every single person out there to respect your thoughts and opinions. We live in a place where society thrives upon even the tiniest opportunity to flame/bash/slam/criticize/inferiorate others. I mean yeah, people respect honesty but if you have to be brutally honest about certain things, be sure not to generalize people. It's never good to do that, people HATE being classified into categories.


Anyway, let us go back to the original topic: why on Earth did I want a separate blog. You know, how people (usually elders) say that during adolescence is the time where we are trying to find ourselves? I used to think that was total tosh. I guess it's probably because I didn't fully understand the meaning of "finding ourselves". I mean how can only 16 years of breathing gain you enough experience to say that you've managed to find out who you are. I only assumed that it was nonsense and took no notice of it. Until now that is. In ways I cannot articulate, it just struck me one day not so long ago that I've finally "found" myself. The feeling's indescribably good, you feel as though you've ascended way above others who's still dwelling within their own world. Before this, I was a little lost, I had no clue of what I'm supposed to do (I'm being unspecific here). Goals, purposes, objectives matter very much to me. I cannot live without goals or purposes. Previously, it was all about passing exams, achieving the ideal weight, acquiring your most favourable items, et cetera et cetera. But now it's different, I can't really put it into words...it's like you finally uncover the reason you are here. Your purpose in life. Sort of.


This is turning into some lengthy, rambling, boring old professor's biography. I'll use that as my alibi to leave my post hanging right here after the fullstop. Period.