I feel like a zombie. It's been 3 weeks into my semester break and all I ever do is sleep, cook, eat, computer, go out for a bit, eat, computer and sleep. My bedtimes now are usually between 3am to 4am and I wake up around 1pm or 2pm. I know.

Sometimes when I wake up and see the time, I feel frustrated because I've wasted half the day sleeping. But then, there's this other part which refuses to want to comply. The bed can seem so tempting but that's only when I'm asleep. When I'm awake, I try to stay up as late as I can because I don't want to waste time sleeping. See the irony?

Lately, there's been a few thoughts circulating in my head. I've been wondering what's happened to me. Why there's a change. Is it really possible to just lose an interest?

I'm worried about the love and passion I had for writing that seems to be slowly ebbing away. Writing was something which I always felt confidently good at. That if someone asked me what I'm good at, it would be writing. But now I'm starting to doubt it. It doesn't feel as natural as it used to be. And there's usually little or no inspiration at all.

It's as though I've lost the flair for it. But I don't want to lose it. I've tried to rekindle the flame by going to the library regularly and getting books to read. However, I still find that I'm falling prey to the many distractions around me. Sometimes I do get inspirations or ideas and I'd make a mental note but forget about it later. Has writing and expressing myself became of such lower priority?

I wish I knew for sure what made this happened. That way, maybe I could fix it better. I suppose I really have to mull over this and come up with a solution. Otherwise, it'll just fade away and I'll be left being good at nothing.

It already feels unbearable with that thought in mind. Being skill-less.

Sigh. I really do not like this. =(