Dissapointment

Ah, disappointment. What's not to like about it? It happens to the best of us and some might say disappointment is worst than conflict. I think so too.

I'm no stranger to disappointment, especially towards myself. I tend to hold extremely high expectations of myself and when I end up short, I become all bitter and angry with myself. But you know what's worse? Feeling disappointed of others.

Why do I say so? Because when you're disappointed of yourself, at least you're able to evaluate yourself and work out a plan to avoid it in the future. But if you're disappointed over someone else, then you don't have control of the situation.

I was never good when it came to handling disappointment, even if it was over myself. I think it's cause I tend to always want to give others the benefit of the doubt that when they disappoint, I feel horrible. I feel terrible on their behalf. Not angry, but disappointed.

And it doesn't end there. After that I'll pray and wish with all my might that they'll come around and address the issue. But usually it doesn't happen. Like I said, I'm too nice. I can't help but hope that with time the best of people will emerge.

It's a sucky feeling, being disappointed. And not angry-disappointed but hopeful-disappointed. As in you're disappointed but still hopeful that things will get better.

Maybe it will?

Oh, there I go again.