Yep. Typically before this I would feel guilty for not having updated my blog for such a loooong time. But then I would always think why the heck am I feeling guilty for? Am I offending anyone by not updating for a while? I suppose not.
So I think many people feel like they are compelled to update their blogs as often as possible because of their readers. They want to keep their readers entertained and satisfied as regularly as they can.
But that is no easy task. I, for one, am going through that now. I am not exactly sure why but as of now I seem to have left behind the burning fiery desire to want to express myself and speak my mind. If you were to go back to the first few posts of this blog (which would be very quick, as I do not have that many posts =P), you would notice that I give out the impression of a really eager, enthusiastic person and in some ways, curious about how the minds of others work.
It is like I was so fascinated by how much knowledge I can very suddenly attain because of some surge of mental growth hormones (if they exist) that made me think in a very different perspective. In simpler form, I grew up too fast. I had a lot of thoughts, ideas, opinions spinning in my head and could hardly wait to let them out. Hence, I created this blog. To let out all those thoughts I had that suddenly surged in on me. Trust me, it feels great to have found an outlet for you to express yourself in. It will become kinda like your sanctuary or comfort place which you seek when you are given time for yourself.
I believe it is very important for someone to have something like that as it strengthens the relationship between you and (yes yourself)your subconscious. Because most of the times when given an opportunity to express yourself, you would take pride in whatever that is the result. You would feel happy and content with yourself for being able to come out with something like that. That is where you learn to appreciate your own capabilities and not hate yourself for being the way you are.
However, despite everything I have said above, I have not been updating my blog very often. I wish I knew why. But it can either mean that I am losing interest in writing, or that I lost the ability to pick up inspirations to write from the occurences that happens everyday, or that I am so caught up with my life now that I cannot be bothered by things happening around me, or I have found another way to assert and express myself.
But then again, when I think more about it, why am I even bothered by this? Why do I even care if people say my blog is boring because I rarely update it? Is there a definite and fixed contextual meaning that states that a blog has to be full of interesting things to read and laugh about? Does it has to contains lots of pictures? No, I suppose not.
It is like this social journal thing I recently started playing around with, Plurk.com, it is something like a timeline in which you post the things you are doing, or feeling or want to do at a certain time. If you post regularly and people reply you, your Karma goes up. But if you have been inactive for a while, it drops. And also as your Karma increases, you get to use a wider range of emoticons. So I guess there's where it is fun and rewarding to see your Karma rise.
But what I wanna highlight here is that I see a number of people who would say that somehow "work so hard" so increase their Karma but it did not increase by alot or has dropped by abit. They would say that the "hard work" is gone down the drain and then whine about it.
This is the part where I roll my eyes and say "puhhh-leasee." I mean come on people, it is just some online social timeline in which does not really help you improve yourself. And it is just writing a short note of whatever you are feeling, doing etc and posting it up every few hours. Where does the "hard work" part comes in? So yeah, like I said, some people feel like it is some sort of pointless achievement when they reach the maximum Karma or managed to update their blog 5655309432223943259 times in a day.
Frankly, I believe it is just all about satisfying and being content with yourself. Like in Plurk, I just post whenever I feel like it and occasionally reply to other Plurks when relevant. I don't post just for the sake of increasing my Karma. Also, I only choose to blog whenever I feel like it. I don't have to satisfy anyone else but myself. So as long as I am in my comfort place and have something to blog, then sure I will update. But hey, if otherwise too bad for my blog then. =D
(Wow, almost 1000 words. I guess that should compensate for all the other times which I failed to interact with my blog. =D)
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