It Has Been A While

You don't want to know how many times I opened the "Create post" page at Blogger and stared at the blank text space waiting for some sort of inspiration to hit me. It's saddening that now I can't seem to get ANY sort of ideas or inspirations on what to write. It just shows how pathetic a wannabe journalist I can be. *sigh*

Tonight is one of those nights. The nights where I spend hours just listening to emo songs and be emo. And those nights also happens to be times when I am able to write best for some reason. I guess you can say I'm an emotionally driven writer. Yep.

For some reason I could kinda tell that since my week started out awesome, I knew it was gonna end slightly worse. This week was pretty eventful. It started out with that interview and presentation and then the peak was when they told me I got the scholarship. So for a few days, it stayed stagnant at the top until about a day ago when it started going downhill. I don't know. Maybe it is just me being emotional.

Strangely, I've been feeling bouts of paranoia for the past few weeks. I never really discussed it with anyone not even him for the fear that it might spark another argument. God, I hate arguments with him. Long before, arguments between us could be solved so easily. Now, it's almost like we're throwing verbal daggers at each other (except that his are more sharper). Yeah, that's the part that scares me most. I get doubtful when people tell me "I would never...[insert whatever actions or doings] to you." Because when some time later when they actually do it, it hurts so bad.

Sometimes I wonder if couples do forget the reason they're together. Like when you see that person for a long time very often, you sort of get used to them and it becomes a routine. True, when you say that you can't imagine a day without them because it has become daily routine to call, or meet up or having meals with them. I suppose that is when couples forget the very reason why they got together. It becomes sort of like the need you have to drink a cup of coffee every morning or else you can't start your day. You just know that you have to have it but you kinda "forgot" the reason why.

No doubt, he treats me good. The best I would say. I never felt happier than with anyone else. When we're happy, we are really happy but when we argue, it is just the worst of its kind. I get intimidated by that side of him because I find it very hard to reason with him at that time. Sometimes it is just dumb how we start arguing. From an almost nonsensical reason, a huge argument would ensue. It's almost ridiculous.

But ah well, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship I guess. Bound to be ups and downs. Anyway, I just got a call from him. He's back. Gosh, I missed him.

Goodnight guys.