(Note: Maturity and open-mindedness is required to read what is posted below. Don't come with angry and insulted remarks when I've already warned you.)
I call it denial. A way of convincing oneself that one is better when in actual fact is inferior to the opposed. What I'm referring to is when people like us Malaysians compare ourselves to the Western community. We refuse to admit that they ARE progressing way better than we are. Even when it is true that the crime rate is higher over there and that they're way too "modernized", they always emerge better.
The question now here is why? Why is it that many Americans belong to the top 100 most influential people in the world and not Asians? What makes the US one of the strongest country today? What is it that they possess that we don't?
What I am thinking here is that we lack creativity. Like for example, it was the Chinese who discovered gunpowder. But it was the Europeans who improvised the recipe and usage of it. One thing about the Chinese is that they are always content with what they have, they don't try to make things better or expand the uses. I suppose it's part of their ancestral teachings or whatever to always appreciate what they have and never ask for more. But look how it slowed their progression.
Hmm...before you start thinking otherwise, I'm not worshiping the Westerners or anything. I'm not like gonna fall on the floor and kiss their toes. No, that would be ridiculous. I'm just stating the obvious. No matter how much effort you put in to deny the fact that we are inferior to them, it still remains a fact. But not all countries of Asia should be said to be like that, an example of an Asian country which showed great progression is Japan. During the World War II, Japan suffered a lot of damage, but look now, even with natural resources so scarce on their island, they are now the second-largest economy of the world.
Does it occur to you why? Let's not focus on comparing it to neighboring countries, let's just look at our country, Malaysia. I am sorry to say that Malaysians are a bunch of lazy people. We have first world infrastructures but a third world mentality. Look at the Japanese, they're really hardworking, disciplined and courteous people. And despite my dislike for their music and anime, I still cannot deny it that they tower way above us.
Okay, now I am gonna go into my theory why Asians are less progressive than the Westerners. I already noticed it a while ago but I only started really thinking about it during my trip to Langkawi. Right, it all starts when a child is born. Asian parents are really too protective over their children. They are so afraid to let them do a little exploring on their own and always insist on tying them down to their chair. Whereas in the Western community, I see many of the parents start exposing their young ones to the world at a very tender age. They're allowed to experience and discover things on their own. In Malaysia, parents always feel it's not right for them to know so much until they're older. We believe that we should always scold and punish them for being inquisitive and adventurous. What a way of thinking we have. (sigh)
What parents over here should do is to let loose a little. They're too tense and uptight. Many parents don't treat their children according to their age. Children should be treated like an adult once they reach a certain age like when they hit their teenage years. They should be trusted to be able to think and make decisions on their own account regardless whether it's right or wrong. Of course, parents' guidance and care are vital to ensure that their children do not stray too far from what's right but not so much until prevents them from venturing off on their own to learn new things.
So my conclusion is that, why we Asians always appear to grow and mature slower than the Westerners is because of our upbringing. We weren't allowed and were forbidden to know about too many things. It's never good to be overly conservative and pampering as it will not keep your children safe and protected but only make them weaker and unprepared for the real world they're bound to come into.
Perfectionism
(Note: I apologise for not updating for such a long time.)
Everyone knows nothing and no one is perfect. Our world is not created in balance. Even the Earth isn't perfectly a sphere. The deviations from a spherical shape is pretty small so we don't really notice the difference at all if we just look at in a picture or from the orbit. Also, the distribution of continents and oceans across the Earth is not symmetrical. So you see, we are surrounded by imperfections although they are not conspicuous and impossible to change. I believe that if we could alter that, we would go to great lengths to perfect it.
That's the nature of mankind. We insist to get the impossibly perfect things in life when in the back of our minds we know that it is not achievable. In fact, I think the word "perfect" shouldn't even exist. It gives wrong ideas and impressions to people. It confuses people to think that the "perfect" life would mean having everything in life immaculate and faultless. This is again a wrong assumption. The true meaning of leading a "perfect" life is to strive for the optimal present and future of life or state of living. It not only material but also spiritual, mental and physical.
Notice that the word "optimal" is used. It does not mean perfect, it mean the best that we can obtain from something. Another thing is that we tend to see perfection in only one light. For some people perfection may mean having a great physique or furthering their knowledge beyond anyone else. I am not saying it is a bad thing because it drives one to persevere and not give up. I admit I am somewhat a "perfectionist". I like having things done immaculately and flawless even though I am conscious of the fact that life can never be "perfect". People with this will find it hard to work in groups and pairs. They (and I) always place hope in attaining perfection. But like I said life isn't complaisant and it will only result in disappointment.
I find this matter on perfectionism a little hard to comprehend. It's a very subjective and wide topic. One can be easily misled by it. Like how some parents sometimes misunderstand the meaning of it and pressure their children to race after the impossible "perfection". I think it is excellence that is what they're really after. This can lead to bad results such as a damage in the child's confidence and cause them to fear failure so much to an extent that they start feeling afraid to venture into something new. A distinctive line should be instilled between perfection and excellence to prevent the children to be the receiving end of extreme perfectionism.
I think I should do further reading and research on this before I go on to avoid misinformation. It would do no good but debase me and my blog. Lol. I will try to write on another subject to make up for the long delay.
This post ends here.
Emotional Intelligence
Many disregard the importance of emotional intelligence (EQ). People tend to think that having the right amount of IQ alone will be sufficient in life. Even when down in the history books, it is a revelation that many brilliant men and women aren't exactly the smart kids in class. Many of those who failed miserably in class, underachieved or who have been relegated to life on the margin turned out to be one of the world's top people. However, despite this body of evidence, society has persisted in believing that success in school equals to success in life or at the very least - at the workplace.
This is an awful presumption. It is fundamentally based on the school system's rather restrictive way of measuring achievement. The book smarts are thrown into the limelight during the school years while the street smarts are marginalized. In society's mind, a person with a high IQ would be perfectly competent to be thrust upon the face of success. But first of all, what is success? I'll take a line from the book I'm currently reading. Let's see it this way, success defines the ability to set and achieve your personal and professional goals, whatever they may be.
It sounds simple, right? But as we age and gain experience and maturity, our personal definition of success will definitely ebb away and change. Most of the time it is depending on the role we are trying to fulfill at that moment. Like for example maybe as a student, or son/daughter or a good friend. We're committed to succeed in what our main concerns are at the moment. So, I guess it varies pretty much from every individual. Albeit that, it can be said that the general meaning of success remains a constant to most of us.
I'm not going to delve deep into this subject. It will be time and energy consuming if I do. Those who feel intrigued by this, you can go borrow or buy a book on emotional intelligence. Get one that's easy to comprehend, like the one I'm reading now called The EQ Edge by Steven Stein. Anyway, back to topic, some of us might not probably know what is this "Emotional Intelligence" about. To simplify matters, emotional intelligence is the ability to cope, to adapt and to get along with others. Emotional intelligence is divided into five blanket areas or realms:
1. Intrapersonal Realm
This concerns your ability to know and manage yourself. It involves:
- Self-Awareness
- Assertiveness
- Independence
- Self-Regard
- Self-Actualization
2. Interpersonal Realm
Concerning your "people skills" - your ability to interact and get along with others, it is composed of three scales:
- Empathy
- Social Responsibility
- Interpersonal Relationships
3. Adaptability Realm
This involves your ability to be flexible and realistic and to solve problems when they arise. There are three scales:
- Reality Testing
- Flexibility
- Problem Solving
4. Stress Management Realm
This realm concerns your ability to tolerate stress and control impulses. Its two scales are:
- Stress Tolerance
- Impulse Control
5. The General Mood Realm
This realm also has two scales:
- Optimism
- Happiness
Okay, now that you've got a general idea of what emotional intelligence I am sure that you're able to discern the differences between IQ and EQ. In short, IQ is just a measure of an individual's intellectual, analytical, logical and rational abilities. Mostly, it is concerned with verbal, spatial, visual and mathematical skills. It gauges how readily we learn new things; focus on tasks; retain and recall objective information; engage in a reasoning process; manipulate numbers; think abstractly as well as analytically; and to solve problems by applying knowledge gained prior to that. If you happen to have a high IQ, I can tell you that you're well equipped to pass all sorts of examinations with flying colours. However, I am not able to tell if you will do well in life later on. Without much emotional intelligence, you will find it hard to navigate your way in our complex world - the personal, social and survival aspects of overall intelligence, the elusive common sense and sensitivity that are essential to effective daily functioning.
In our everyday language, emotional intelligence is referred to as "street smarts" or maybe "common sense". It has to do with the ability to read the political and social environment, to intuitively grasp what others want or need, what their strengths and weaknesses are; to remain unwavered by stress; and to be the kind of person that others are comfortable with. As a conclusion, emotional intelligence reassuringly plays a significantly large role in having a successful life. Of course, it would be even better if both IQ and EQ come hand-in-hand. But I think even if you have a low IQ but higher EQ, you would have an equal chance of doing well in life. I also think that schools should try to insinuate the concept emotional intelligence and not only focus on how "book smart" a person is.
Right, so that's my little explanation regarding emotional intelligence. Hope you find it comprehensible. If you don't or you would like to discuss over this matter with me, please be informed that I am on MSN almost 24/7. And also I only welcome mature feedbacks. No childish insults or flaming. =)
This is an awful presumption. It is fundamentally based on the school system's rather restrictive way of measuring achievement. The book smarts are thrown into the limelight during the school years while the street smarts are marginalized. In society's mind, a person with a high IQ would be perfectly competent to be thrust upon the face of success. But first of all, what is success? I'll take a line from the book I'm currently reading. Let's see it this way, success defines the ability to set and achieve your personal and professional goals, whatever they may be.
It sounds simple, right? But as we age and gain experience and maturity, our personal definition of success will definitely ebb away and change. Most of the time it is depending on the role we are trying to fulfill at that moment. Like for example maybe as a student, or son/daughter or a good friend. We're committed to succeed in what our main concerns are at the moment. So, I guess it varies pretty much from every individual. Albeit that, it can be said that the general meaning of success remains a constant to most of us.
I'm not going to delve deep into this subject. It will be time and energy consuming if I do. Those who feel intrigued by this, you can go borrow or buy a book on emotional intelligence. Get one that's easy to comprehend, like the one I'm reading now called The EQ Edge by Steven Stein. Anyway, back to topic, some of us might not probably know what is this "Emotional Intelligence" about. To simplify matters, emotional intelligence is the ability to cope, to adapt and to get along with others. Emotional intelligence is divided into five blanket areas or realms:
1. Intrapersonal Realm
This concerns your ability to know and manage yourself. It involves:
- Self-Awareness
- Assertiveness
- Independence
- Self-Regard
- Self-Actualization
2. Interpersonal Realm
Concerning your "people skills" - your ability to interact and get along with others, it is composed of three scales:
- Empathy
- Social Responsibility
- Interpersonal Relationships
3. Adaptability Realm
This involves your ability to be flexible and realistic and to solve problems when they arise. There are three scales:
- Reality Testing
- Flexibility
- Problem Solving
4. Stress Management Realm
This realm concerns your ability to tolerate stress and control impulses. Its two scales are:
- Stress Tolerance
- Impulse Control
5. The General Mood Realm
This realm also has two scales:
- Optimism
- Happiness
Okay, now that you've got a general idea of what emotional intelligence I am sure that you're able to discern the differences between IQ and EQ. In short, IQ is just a measure of an individual's intellectual, analytical, logical and rational abilities. Mostly, it is concerned with verbal, spatial, visual and mathematical skills. It gauges how readily we learn new things; focus on tasks; retain and recall objective information; engage in a reasoning process; manipulate numbers; think abstractly as well as analytically; and to solve problems by applying knowledge gained prior to that. If you happen to have a high IQ, I can tell you that you're well equipped to pass all sorts of examinations with flying colours. However, I am not able to tell if you will do well in life later on. Without much emotional intelligence, you will find it hard to navigate your way in our complex world - the personal, social and survival aspects of overall intelligence, the elusive common sense and sensitivity that are essential to effective daily functioning.
In our everyday language, emotional intelligence is referred to as "street smarts" or maybe "common sense". It has to do with the ability to read the political and social environment, to intuitively grasp what others want or need, what their strengths and weaknesses are; to remain unwavered by stress; and to be the kind of person that others are comfortable with. As a conclusion, emotional intelligence reassuringly plays a significantly large role in having a successful life. Of course, it would be even better if both IQ and EQ come hand-in-hand. But I think even if you have a low IQ but higher EQ, you would have an equal chance of doing well in life. I also think that schools should try to insinuate the concept emotional intelligence and not only focus on how "book smart" a person is.
Right, so that's my little explanation regarding emotional intelligence. Hope you find it comprehensible. If you don't or you would like to discuss over this matter with me, please be informed that I am on MSN almost 24/7. And also I only welcome mature feedbacks. No childish insults or flaming. =)
Quantity Over Quality?
Basically this is what Malaysia is all about. It's always about paying extra for some cheapskate stuff or marrying three or four wives or having too many kids and recently, competing to see how many subjects a single candidate can sit for in SPM. I mean what's the whole point of this? To prove that, hey, I have more so I'm better than you? Crap.
What I really don't have a slight tinge of idea of is why do some people chose to have an abnormally higher number of offsprings especially those who are financially contrained? Seriously, they would have realised by then that their life isn't actually what you call a luxury. Or do they oftenly get frissons and think, "Hey! Let's go make more babies because I just feel like it now!" Or could it be that maybe they can't afford any other sort of entertainment other than sex? And when they have sex did they choose not to wear a condom because it's not "syok" or condoms are not available in their local shops. It can't be that they can't afford to buy them because they don't really cost much.
Perhaps it might be the misconception that some people have that with more children they'll have more financial support as it is multiplied by the number of children they have. But does having so many children produce the desired quality? No, I don't think so. And why create so many individual life-forms to grow up surrounded by poverty? Does it really do any good? I mean yeah, of course they deserve every right to bear a child or two, but if you can't make it in life successfully then don't even try to be responsible of another's life. Imagine the social pressure that would impinge upon the children's daily life. Sigh.
And of course, the latest trend. Registering for as many SPM subjects as possible. Last year, it was that girl who got 17A1s and this year I heard it was another girl with 19A1s. So what next? 20A1s? It is a rather confounding matter to me. What's the point of taking every single available subject when later in life you can only choose to concentrate on one field? Does taking so many subjects prove anything other than that you're just like the typical Malaysian who thinks that quantity matter over quality? And imagine all those time wasted studying all those extra subjects which you won't ever need later in life. Those time could have been spent on much more productively on things that would actually help in the future.
However, decisions on taking more than the usual number of subjects may be influenced by our education system. In primary and secondary schools, there are no two ways to be the top student. All you have to do is to "swallow" as many textbooks as you can. That's all there is to it. BUT that is only during primary and secondary school years. The real challenge is when you step up into colleges/universities and later on into work life. It is a whole new different ball game and swallowing textbooks would not work as well as they did in primary and secondary education.
Honestly, in my opinion, taking as many as 19 subjects will not be revelant in life. The only thing that can be deduced from the number of As is how hardworking you are or maybe the ability of your brain power. The number of As you get in SPM does not necessarily determine your future. Your personal attitude and your ability to learn new things is what that counts.
What I really don't have a slight tinge of idea of is why do some people chose to have an abnormally higher number of offsprings especially those who are financially contrained? Seriously, they would have realised by then that their life isn't actually what you call a luxury. Or do they oftenly get frissons and think, "Hey! Let's go make more babies because I just feel like it now!" Or could it be that maybe they can't afford any other sort of entertainment other than sex? And when they have sex did they choose not to wear a condom because it's not "syok" or condoms are not available in their local shops. It can't be that they can't afford to buy them because they don't really cost much.
Perhaps it might be the misconception that some people have that with more children they'll have more financial support as it is multiplied by the number of children they have. But does having so many children produce the desired quality? No, I don't think so. And why create so many individual life-forms to grow up surrounded by poverty? Does it really do any good? I mean yeah, of course they deserve every right to bear a child or two, but if you can't make it in life successfully then don't even try to be responsible of another's life. Imagine the social pressure that would impinge upon the children's daily life. Sigh.
And of course, the latest trend. Registering for as many SPM subjects as possible. Last year, it was that girl who got 17A1s and this year I heard it was another girl with 19A1s. So what next? 20A1s? It is a rather confounding matter to me. What's the point of taking every single available subject when later in life you can only choose to concentrate on one field? Does taking so many subjects prove anything other than that you're just like the typical Malaysian who thinks that quantity matter over quality? And imagine all those time wasted studying all those extra subjects which you won't ever need later in life. Those time could have been spent on much more productively on things that would actually help in the future.
However, decisions on taking more than the usual number of subjects may be influenced by our education system. In primary and secondary schools, there are no two ways to be the top student. All you have to do is to "swallow" as many textbooks as you can. That's all there is to it. BUT that is only during primary and secondary school years. The real challenge is when you step up into colleges/universities and later on into work life. It is a whole new different ball game and swallowing textbooks would not work as well as they did in primary and secondary education.
Honestly, in my opinion, taking as many as 19 subjects will not be revelant in life. The only thing that can be deduced from the number of As is how hardworking you are or maybe the ability of your brain power. The number of As you get in SPM does not necessarily determine your future. Your personal attitude and your ability to learn new things is what that counts.
People, judged from the highest perspective (Part 2)
(Note: This is a continuation. Refer to the previous post if neccessary.)
"I am different, I am not like others."
You hear that being said so many times by so many people. Each one of them claims to be different. But how can you be different if there are like thousands of others claiming to be the same thing?
First of all, allow me to do some clarification. I used Dictionary.com for reference.
different
1. not alike in character or quality; differing; dissimilar
peculiar
1. uncommon; unusual
Do you see the differences yet? No? I thought so.
Right, different defines the dissimilarities in people. Like I said in the previous post, every single person is made differently. We are in no way similar to the person next to us. Outwardly, appearances or even personalities may seem comparable, but inside, no one is ever the same.
However, peculiar here carry the meaning of being distinctive or exceptional. It means being extraordinary, outside the norm or unlike the rest.
If you still are skeptical, you can visit Dictionary.com and look up on the word "different" and "peculiar". You will never find "peculiar" as a synonym for "different".
Anyway, coming back to the central of discussion, what most people are trying so hard to be is to be peculiar. But honestly in my opinion, you don't try to be peculiar or to feel peculiar. If you truly are a peculiar person you don't have to make an effort to be peculiar, you just are. Deliberately trying to be different makes you a fake. A poseur (also known as a poser).
Not too long ago, my mom said something to me that led me to conjuring up my own theory. Like I said above, no one is ever the same. We are ALL unique. But some of us are trying so hard to fake being peculiar to gain recognition and because so many are deliberately trying to be peculiar, it results in no one being original. To be peculiar you have to be authentic, you have to stand out. This peculiarity is something inherent. We all have the potential to be outstanding. To be the rose among the daisies or the peacock among the crows. So the conclusion to my theory is that to be peculiar is to be yourself, act yourself. There is some truth to it when they say "Just be yourself". But adamant beings we are, unable to break away from the majority of people, the daises or the crows or whatever you wish to label it as.
I suppose I should probably end this right here. There would be many, many posts if I continue sharing my thoughts on people. I know it's none of my business how others act but we are entitled to our own opinions, no? No one can change the way another person is. It is up to that single person to change. Nothing we say can change a person's character even though it may seem possible at certain times. And we should not let others influence the way we think.
"...
"I am different, I am not like others."
You hear that being said so many times by so many people. Each one of them claims to be different. But how can you be different if there are like thousands of others claiming to be the same thing?
First of all, allow me to do some clarification. I used Dictionary.com for reference.
different
ər1. not alike in character or quality; differing; dissimilar
peculiar
1. uncommon; unusual
Do you see the differences yet? No? I thought so.
Right, different defines the dissimilarities in people. Like I said in the previous post, every single person is made differently. We are in no way similar to the person next to us. Outwardly, appearances or even personalities may seem comparable, but inside, no one is ever the same.
However, peculiar here carry the meaning of being distinctive or exceptional. It means being extraordinary, outside the norm or unlike the rest.
If you still are skeptical, you can visit Dictionary.com and look up on the word "different" and "peculiar". You will never find "peculiar" as a synonym for "different".
Anyway, coming back to the central of discussion, what most people are trying so hard to be is to be peculiar. But honestly in my opinion, you don't try to be peculiar or to feel peculiar. If you truly are a peculiar person you don't have to make an effort to be peculiar, you just are. Deliberately trying to be different makes you a fake. A poseur (also known as a poser).
Not too long ago, my mom said something to me that led me to conjuring up my own theory. Like I said above, no one is ever the same. We are ALL unique. But some of us are trying so hard to fake being peculiar to gain recognition and because so many are deliberately trying to be peculiar, it results in no one being original. To be peculiar you have to be authentic, you have to stand out. This peculiarity is something inherent. We all have the potential to be outstanding. To be the rose among the daisies or the peacock among the crows. So the conclusion to my theory is that to be peculiar is to be yourself, act yourself. There is some truth to it when they say "Just be yourself". But adamant beings we are, unable to break away from the majority of people, the daises or the crows or whatever you wish to label it as.
I suppose I should probably end this right here. There would be many, many posts if I continue sharing my thoughts on people. I know it's none of my business how others act but we are entitled to our own opinions, no? No one can change the way another person is. It is up to that single person to change. Nothing we say can change a person's character even though it may seem possible at certain times. And we should not let others influence the way we think.
"...
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."
- Invictus, William Ernest Henley
(P.S I'm sorry if it took me so long to update but I really am unable to find enough time)
People, judged from the highest perspective
(Caution: This post contains major stereotyping. People who are not able to respect (or read my title) opinions of others, please stay away.)
One of the biggest conundrums in life (at least to me) is the character of people. I can't help but stop and wonder why did they turn out the way they are. Some people might say that it might be their upbringing or family background. But when I look a little closer, I see - no their parents aren't like them. Neither are their siblings or aunts or cousins etc etc. So the only inference that I can speculate is their surroundings. The people around them. And most importantly, their peers, which will lead to another issue, comformity (I will elaborate more on that in the next post).
People are made up of different things. These "things" which I'm referring to are the characters, traits, qualities, habits and so on of people. All these are like building blocks which comes in different colors and shapes. Everyone is built in their own special and unique way. Some might have a little more variety while some may only have a few.
What puzzles me is who gets to determine how the person will be built? Using which block? And why that one? Most people would answer that it is ourselves who get to determine how we want to be built. That we are our own architect, contractor, brick-layer and so on. But we are rather unaware of how susceptible we are to outside influences. They too play a fairly large part in deciding how and which blocks would be used. But of course it doesn't mean that we have to let others take the rein. We have the ability to discern what's right and wrong.
On contrary to that, we still see many bad apples everywhere. Blessed we are with the power to distinguish between right and wrong but yet people are still acting in such an apathetic way. Undeniably, they failed to do the right thing. Or rather, they chose to do the wrong thing. I mean what's so great with being rebellious. Does it make you cool? No, you don't. Instead you'll be looked down upon.
In this post I would like to emphasize more on adolescents. Teenagers. It's one of the more crucial stages in life. During this short period of time, you're expected to map out how exactly the next 40 years of your life would be. A friend once said to me, "Isn't it a pity that during this time of our life we have to decide how we're going to live for the rest of our lives?" Do I agree with her? No, I don't. The years we have between the age of 13 and 20 aren't meant to be wasted on dalliance. And it is at this time where we are at our strongest point. We're strong and healthy. And most of all, we're free from all major life responsibilities.
It is at this time where we start developing our identity. Or rather only some of us. The reason I say that is because of the living proof I see around me. Teenagers with fully matured bodies but with brains of a 6-year-old. And guess what? They're proud of it. They're proud to say, "Hey! I listen to rap and you don't so you're old fashioned" or "I'm much more matured than you are because I've already had sex".
You see how twisted the way a teenager's mind work? I'm not implying that all teenagers are this way. I'm just making a general statement. We (I'm saying "we" because I admit that I sometimes act in this way too) put ourselves in such a position that we feel we're superior to others. We're all irate teenagers. Emotions all jumbled up inside us. Those who are able to sift through the right and wrong would satisfy their anger in a much more constructive way such as pushing themselves to work harder to prevent further disappointments. Others who lacked integrity would vent their anger at others and along the way they would lose those around them.
(I fear that this will turn into yet another long post. Hence, I will stop right here and hope later there will be an ensuing post as I've still much to prattle on about. This post ends here.)
One of the biggest conundrums in life (at least to me) is the character of people. I can't help but stop and wonder why did they turn out the way they are. Some people might say that it might be their upbringing or family background. But when I look a little closer, I see - no their parents aren't like them. Neither are their siblings or aunts or cousins etc etc. So the only inference that I can speculate is their surroundings. The people around them. And most importantly, their peers, which will lead to another issue, comformity (I will elaborate more on that in the next post).
People are made up of different things. These "things" which I'm referring to are the characters, traits, qualities, habits and so on of people. All these are like building blocks which comes in different colors and shapes. Everyone is built in their own special and unique way. Some might have a little more variety while some may only have a few.
What puzzles me is who gets to determine how the person will be built? Using which block? And why that one? Most people would answer that it is ourselves who get to determine how we want to be built. That we are our own architect, contractor, brick-layer and so on. But we are rather unaware of how susceptible we are to outside influences. They too play a fairly large part in deciding how and which blocks would be used. But of course it doesn't mean that we have to let others take the rein. We have the ability to discern what's right and wrong.
On contrary to that, we still see many bad apples everywhere. Blessed we are with the power to distinguish between right and wrong but yet people are still acting in such an apathetic way. Undeniably, they failed to do the right thing. Or rather, they chose to do the wrong thing. I mean what's so great with being rebellious. Does it make you cool? No, you don't. Instead you'll be looked down upon.
In this post I would like to emphasize more on adolescents. Teenagers. It's one of the more crucial stages in life. During this short period of time, you're expected to map out how exactly the next 40 years of your life would be. A friend once said to me, "Isn't it a pity that during this time of our life we have to decide how we're going to live for the rest of our lives?" Do I agree with her? No, I don't. The years we have between the age of 13 and 20 aren't meant to be wasted on dalliance. And it is at this time where we are at our strongest point. We're strong and healthy. And most of all, we're free from all major life responsibilities.
It is at this time where we start developing our identity. Or rather only some of us. The reason I say that is because of the living proof I see around me. Teenagers with fully matured bodies but with brains of a 6-year-old. And guess what? They're proud of it. They're proud to say, "Hey! I listen to rap and you don't so you're old fashioned" or "I'm much more matured than you are because I've already had sex".
You see how twisted the way a teenager's mind work? I'm not implying that all teenagers are this way. I'm just making a general statement. We (I'm saying "we" because I admit that I sometimes act in this way too) put ourselves in such a position that we feel we're superior to others. We're all irate teenagers. Emotions all jumbled up inside us. Those who are able to sift through the right and wrong would satisfy their anger in a much more constructive way such as pushing themselves to work harder to prevent further disappointments. Others who lacked integrity would vent their anger at others and along the way they would lose those around them.
(I fear that this will turn into yet another long post. Hence, I will stop right here and hope later there will be an ensuing post as I've still much to prattle on about. This post ends here.)
Another blog, another me
In case you don't know, I already have one in Friendster which I've been using for more than a year. But since I found out that my mind works in a way similar to an intellectual's mind (maybe not entirely the same), I felt that it incumbent upon myself that I create a new blog where I could freely write about the ever increasing thoughts in my mind. Somehow, I find the blog in Friendster erm...difficult for me to express my thoughts. Maybe it's the colors, or the layout or the fact that it's a "Friendster" blog. Anyhow, it somehow restricts the flow of my creative juices.
I have split personalities. Well, not exactly split personalites but something close enough to that. Many and perhaps all people I know in real life only see the superficial me. Even my best friends, they don't see me the way I am now. Perhaps only a hint of it. Most people regard me as any other typical quite, shy and timid girl. Maybe it might be because I chose to be discreet about the inner me.
People love being superficial. They put a barrier between their deeper, more conscious selves and their superficial selves. I personally don't believe that any person can be as shallow as to how they present themselves. Maybe they find it hard to express themselves and then chose to act the way they are acting now because they find it much easier. I know that because sometimes I think I am like that. I'm afraid that people will take me as someone weird and unfitting. It really sucks when you happen to be marginalized just because the way your mind work is different from the others. I've been told many times by many people that I always "think too much", or "think way out of the box". Sometimes I feel hurt that people judge me just by the way I think. I mean I'm sorry if I don't happen to be as apathetic as you are. I just can't help being the way I am. I didn't beg to have all these thoughts put into my head. Sometimes I find it rather disturbing to have so many questions and ideas swimming around the pool of thoughts in my head.
I wasn't like this a year before. Maybe I was, but not like this. Since I was very young, I've always had this feeling that I might be different. I always wondered "why me?". I felt as if I was chosen for something which I have no clue about (please don't take this too seriously, this was something that was going through 7-year-old girl's mind). I used to think that everyone else thought the way I thought and when I tried to talk to them about it, they'll just be silent and look at me quietly. I then learned that showing your true self might result in people thinking you're weird.
So then, I started developing this other character in me. The one's that the total opposite of me when I'm alone and free to be myself. In front of others I'm like mask acting, the only expressions they can see is whatever that's being portrayed by my mask. But behind the mask is what they truly failed to see. That's how people judge me now. By the mask I put on.
However, as I grew older and gained maturity, I felt the need to assert myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this to elicit attention from people who once disregarded me. I'm doing this for myself. It helps me in a way that I get to write about the ideas or emotions that has been held inside for a very long time. Through writing I'm able to express myself the best. I've discovered that in me a long time ago. I still remember the time when I first told my dad that I wanted to try my hand at writing. I was about 8 or 9 and by then I had started reading R.L Stine's Goosebumps books. Reading those books gave me various ideas and plots to start writing my own stories. I learnt that I could write easily, without the need to sit down and plan how every little detail in the story goes. My hand would just move continuously across the paper as ideas spontaneously form in my mind. Since then, I've always used writing as a way to express myself. I believe that everyone should find a way to express themselves. It needn't be through writing, it could be through drawing or composing songs or whatever suits them. On the other hand, I think people should be chary with their thoughts too. Because we can't expect every single person out there to respect your thoughts and opinions. We live in a place where society thrives upon even the tiniest opportunity to flame/bash/slam/criticize/inferiorate others. I mean yeah, people respect honesty but if you have to be brutally honest about certain things, be sure not to generalize people. It's never good to do that, people HATE being classified into categories.
Anyway, let us go back to the original topic: why on Earth did I want a separate blog. You know, how people (usually elders) say that during adolescence is the time where we are trying to find ourselves? I used to think that was total tosh. I guess it's probably because I didn't fully understand the meaning of "finding ourselves". I mean how can only 16 years of breathing gain you enough experience to say that you've managed to find out who you are. I only assumed that it was nonsense and took no notice of it. Until now that is. In ways I cannot articulate, it just struck me one day not so long ago that I've finally "found" myself. The feeling's indescribably good, you feel as though you've ascended way above others who's still dwelling within their own world. Before this, I was a little lost, I had no clue of what I'm supposed to do (I'm being unspecific here). Goals, purposes, objectives matter very much to me. I cannot live without goals or purposes. Previously, it was all about passing exams, achieving the ideal weight, acquiring your most favourable items, et cetera et cetera. But now it's different, I can't really put it into words...it's like you finally uncover the reason you are here. Your purpose in life. Sort of.
This is turning into some lengthy, rambling, boring old professor's biography. I'll use that as my alibi to leave my post hanging right here after the fullstop. Period.
I have split personalities. Well, not exactly split personalites but something close enough to that. Many and perhaps all people I know in real life only see the superficial me. Even my best friends, they don't see me the way I am now. Perhaps only a hint of it. Most people regard me as any other typical quite, shy and timid girl. Maybe it might be because I chose to be discreet about the inner me.
People love being superficial. They put a barrier between their deeper, more conscious selves and their superficial selves. I personally don't believe that any person can be as shallow as to how they present themselves. Maybe they find it hard to express themselves and then chose to act the way they are acting now because they find it much easier. I know that because sometimes I think I am like that. I'm afraid that people will take me as someone weird and unfitting. It really sucks when you happen to be marginalized just because the way your mind work is different from the others. I've been told many times by many people that I always "think too much", or "think way out of the box". Sometimes I feel hurt that people judge me just by the way I think. I mean I'm sorry if I don't happen to be as apathetic as you are. I just can't help being the way I am. I didn't beg to have all these thoughts put into my head. Sometimes I find it rather disturbing to have so many questions and ideas swimming around the pool of thoughts in my head.
I wasn't like this a year before. Maybe I was, but not like this. Since I was very young, I've always had this feeling that I might be different. I always wondered "why me?". I felt as if I was chosen for something which I have no clue about (please don't take this too seriously, this was something that was going through 7-year-old girl's mind). I used to think that everyone else thought the way I thought and when I tried to talk to them about it, they'll just be silent and look at me quietly. I then learned that showing your true self might result in people thinking you're weird.
So then, I started developing this other character in me. The one's that the total opposite of me when I'm alone and free to be myself. In front of others I'm like mask acting, the only expressions they can see is whatever that's being portrayed by my mask. But behind the mask is what they truly failed to see. That's how people judge me now. By the mask I put on.
However, as I grew older and gained maturity, I felt the need to assert myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this to elicit attention from people who once disregarded me. I'm doing this for myself. It helps me in a way that I get to write about the ideas or emotions that has been held inside for a very long time. Through writing I'm able to express myself the best. I've discovered that in me a long time ago. I still remember the time when I first told my dad that I wanted to try my hand at writing. I was about 8 or 9 and by then I had started reading R.L Stine's Goosebumps books. Reading those books gave me various ideas and plots to start writing my own stories. I learnt that I could write easily, without the need to sit down and plan how every little detail in the story goes. My hand would just move continuously across the paper as ideas spontaneously form in my mind. Since then, I've always used writing as a way to express myself. I believe that everyone should find a way to express themselves. It needn't be through writing, it could be through drawing or composing songs or whatever suits them. On the other hand, I think people should be chary with their thoughts too. Because we can't expect every single person out there to respect your thoughts and opinions. We live in a place where society thrives upon even the tiniest opportunity to flame/bash/slam/criticize/inferiorate others. I mean yeah, people respect honesty but if you have to be brutally honest about certain things, be sure not to generalize people. It's never good to do that, people HATE being classified into categories.
Anyway, let us go back to the original topic: why on Earth did I want a separate blog. You know, how people (usually elders) say that during adolescence is the time where we are trying to find ourselves? I used to think that was total tosh. I guess it's probably because I didn't fully understand the meaning of "finding ourselves". I mean how can only 16 years of breathing gain you enough experience to say that you've managed to find out who you are. I only assumed that it was nonsense and took no notice of it. Until now that is. In ways I cannot articulate, it just struck me one day not so long ago that I've finally "found" myself. The feeling's indescribably good, you feel as though you've ascended way above others who's still dwelling within their own world. Before this, I was a little lost, I had no clue of what I'm supposed to do (I'm being unspecific here). Goals, purposes, objectives matter very much to me. I cannot live without goals or purposes. Previously, it was all about passing exams, achieving the ideal weight, acquiring your most favourable items, et cetera et cetera. But now it's different, I can't really put it into words...it's like you finally uncover the reason you are here. Your purpose in life. Sort of.
This is turning into some lengthy, rambling, boring old professor's biography. I'll use that as my alibi to leave my post hanging right here after the fullstop. Period.