Oh Noes. Writer's Block.

I know it's been ages since I last updated this blog. Been having the writer's block for a quite a while. Nothing around me seem to inspire or help in ideas of what to write. And I'm starting to feel as though I've lost that...I don't know. Like I've lost the ability to come up with great ideas and translate them into written text. In short, I think I seem to have "lost" the ability to write! =/

Gah. These few months sitting at home doing absolutely nothing is not doing any good for me. Everyday I wake up having to go through the same thing. I can't even call it a routine because for it to be a routine it has to be filled with some sort of activity. But for me it's like:-

10:30am: Open eyes, roll around in bed for a while.

11:00am: Go downstairs to make myself brunch. Usually it's some sort of nutritious drink.

11:15am: Lock myself in my room and sit in front of my PC.

12:30pm: Wake Teddy up so he can get ready for work.

1:00pm: Watch some videos or play some games or read interesting stuff up on the Internet.

4:00pm: Eyes start to feel tired. Takes a nap.

6:00pm: Go downstairs in time to see Mom come home.

6:30pm: Dinner time.

7:00pm: Take Princess for a walk with my mom.

7:30pm: Have my shower and then plops myself on the chair right in front of my PC.

Late in the night: Heads to bed.

And the same thing repeats again the next day.

I know. It's saddening.

How Real Can You Get?

Realists are people who look at the world according to its objective facts. They see the world in its literal form and do not focus on its abstract and idealistic ideas. Basically realists are people who practice realism.

I'm a bit of a realist myself. I only believe and consider things that are somewhat objective facts. One of my top principles is to be realistic. There is no point putting all your beliefs and trust upon something which deep down you know isn't achievable or maybe the chances of it happening are low. Yes, we can dream and hope but not to an extent that we somehow convinced ourselves that it can actually happen. Because if we do believe in something fantasy so bad then we're making ourselves vulnerable to something hard and cold which we call - reality.

The way one should handle a perfect balance between fantasy and reality is to not treat both of them with impudence. One usually starts with a dream or fantasy which he/she would really yearn to achieve. He/she could choose to continue dwelling within his/her fantasy bubble or to assess and analyze his/her current real situation and concluding whether that dream can
attained. Dreams can be great motivators and triggers to real action plans. But actually it depends on the dream itself. If it really is something out of this world that it's best to obviate that dream.

Personally, one of the worst dreams to have is to dream to meet your favourite actor/singer. Well I'm not saying it's bad or what but it is definitely a waste of time because I very much doubt your favourite actor/singer will know who you are and appreciate all the time you spent fantasizing about them. So be realistic and realize that your favourite actor/singer aren't a god/goddess. They're ordinary people like you and me making business out of a huge array of dreamers.

With that being said, learn to discern between what is realistic or not. It is not necessarily wrong to dream and hope because those are the precursors to success. Just be real.

The Real "Start"

It's 2008 already and I spent a few days of the first week of 2008 in Bandung, Indonesia from 3th Jan to 6th Jan. I went with my mom and we spent a hell of time shopping at the factory outlets. Then, on the our very last night there I got attacked by food poisoning and fever. It was pretty bad. I regurgitated about 7 times and had diarrhea about 5 times. I was so drained out that while in the waiting hall at Bandung's airport I nearly fainted.

When we touched down at KL I felt instantly better. Nothing feels better than being back home. Seriously, I will never ever step foot again in Indonesia. One of the scariest and unentertaining places to be in.

Well anyway, this year would be the real start for me as I'll be attending college soon after I get my SPM results. I'm currently working hard on figuring out on all the available options. It's too bad that I only found out about certain useful information right now because it's a little too late for me to take action already. One such as like applying to need-based universities in the US. If I have found out earlier I would have taken the initiative to send applications. Sigh. Oh well. Guess I'll be able to review other options when I attend The Star Education Fair this weekend.

Til' the next post then.

"I"

Sometimes I get ideas at odd and weird times. Like I got this sudden epiphany to write this post while I was scrubbing the floor at one of my parents' apartments for rent.

Yeah anyway, the topic to discuss here is about the word "I."

Okay I suppose it is only relevant if I begin with the definition of the word "I."

I, i
–pronoun

1.	the nominative singular pronoun, used by a speaker in referring to himself or herself.

"I" is one of the most commonly used word by everyone. But did you know "I" is one of the most selfish words? Well maybe not under certain circumstances but generally yes it is a very selfish word.

The instance you start with the word "I" it already indicates selfishness. Like okay if I say "I love you" to you, I am being selfish. Why? Because I'm saying that "I" love you, and only I can. No one else is mentioned. I'm only talking about myself. That is already being selfish. But maybe not selfish in a horribly bad way. Just subtle enough to be dismissed.

I'm not saying "I" is a bad word to use. I'm just bringing up what I realised. This is just an innocent discussion where we just sit and share our opinions. I always try to point out in my posts that I'm not looking to start a flame session but just sharing my ideas. But regardless of that there are still people who must have missed that because they'll reply with something defensive.

This is because (if you notice) I use a lot of "I"s when writing here. Like I said, "I" is a very selfish word. In sentences beginning with "I" it does not express selfishness expressively but rather implicitly. So perhaps some readers might feel that I'm being very selfish here because all I talk about is about how "I" think.

Another selfish word that can go along with "I" very well is "want." The moment you say "I want", it already means you're being selfish.

"I want you to do this"

That is the ultimate selfish command. It's not a request but a command. It's saying that "I" want you to do it, not because they, he, she or yourself. It doesn't sound pleasant either. Whenever people start with "I want you to...", I get a little agitated already. Isn't it much more accommodating to use "Can you do ... for me?" It doesn't sound as selfish as the other one and it is a request, not a command.

Sometimes people don't realise how selfish saying "I want you to..." sounds. Perhaps because that sentence comprise of words that are so commonly used. And because it's used so commonly that people just forget the precise meaning of it. It's almost like phrases or words that are used ubiquitously like hmm... "Road tax." I don't know about others but my parents pronounce it as "ro-tex." It's like words like these are spoken so often that people just say it for the sake of saying it. They don't pay attention to the meaning, hence it comes out being "ro-tex."

Yeah so sometimes people don't realise how selfish they can sound even when they're not really expressively meaning it. Haha I think I went a little off-track there. I was supposed to be talking about how selfish "I" is. Oh well. This is gonna end here. Till the next post then. ;)

A Little Preoccupied

Hmm I know it's been ages since I last updated. It's because lately I can't seem to find enough time to actually sit down here.

Anyway, it's Christmas Eve today and I'll probably start posting something after Christmas.

Merry Xmas everyone! And a Happy Coming New Year!

A Little "Me" Time

"Me" time refers to the little period of time where you spent being on your own without external disturbances. It is a time when you do the little things that pleases and gratifies yourself. It is also a time when you forget about everything else on your mind and just loosen up. Having short periods of "me" time is important in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Usually those who often forget and is in need of a little "me" time are wives and mothers. Many times when asked to take a break they'll say they have too much work to do and if they don't do, no one else would. Well I wouldn't allude that as something bad but sometimes it is essential to forget about being selfless and be selfish. Just insist that you will not be bothered and then devote some time taking care of yourself.

That's the general idea of "me" time.

For me the way I spend my little "me" times just sitting alone in my room. I especially love the short periods of time when I'm alone at home. I just love the peacefulness, silence and stillness. Sometimes I'll turn off the music player and concentrate on the other sounds we usually ignore or just concentrate on my thoughts.

This pretty much shows how introverted I can get during particular times. To me, the power to think in man is probably the greatest advantage we have above all other living organism. So since I'm err blessed with this "gift" of being able to think and process so many thoughts, I take it as a good thing and don't think of it as con that makes me an oddball.

Anyway, right now I'm ending this post right here. It's very rare I get to be alone at home so I'm gonna make full use of it for my own way of spending a little "me" time.

Something I've Always Wanted To Write

I've written and published something on this website. I think the topic is pretty sensitive. So those who are religious I advise that you do not even attempt to take a peek at it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

My piece at Helium.com

Just something I read in SPM Biology Paper 1

During my Biology Paper 1 in SPM, I read something that made me think a little. It just struck me there and then when I read it. It was something to do with ecology.

There it stated :-

Community: Several species of organisms which live together in the same place.

Now you may wonder why I would find this statement blogworthy. It's something like in one of those widely forwarded emails where it's about how funny and weird English is. You have "Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? ", "Why is abbreviation such a long word?", and many more. I find all these things fun to read because you get so used to the things we see in everyday life that we don't notice its intricate details.

Like what I read in Biology Paper 1. When I read that line immediately I had this thought of how we used the word "community" to describe a group of people in an area. I know the definition of community differ in the field of ecology from society but still I find it humorously disturbing. Right, according to the definition of community in ecology it means different species living in a same area. So if the same definition is to be applied to human society then it would mean that the people in the community aren't of the same species which means that every single individual in a community stand as its own and autonomous species.

Funny huh? But maybe it has some fact, perhaps the meaning of "species" in this context is used to refer to the different classes and statuses of people in a community. So I suppose the richer and more successful people would be classified as the "superior species" while the poorer and less successful people would be labeled as the "inferior species." It sounds like the typical nature of human. I mean animals do that too like there's working ants and soldier ants but do we (humans) have to go so far as to called others a different species?

Hmm...humans. We're the best thing that ever happened to the Earth and the worst too.

Ran Out Of Potatoes

Oh crap. I couldn't find anymore potatoes in the potatoes.

Looked around the kitchen and couldn't decide what else to cook so I just took my organic health drink. Yeah, you heard right. I eat organic stuff. It's some dark green drink mixture that reminds me of a swamp. It's green and lumpy which makes me think of the green vegetation that grows over the surface of swamps. Ugh.

But I suppose it's better for me if I take the ever-so-gross-organic-drink as everyone (my mom and bro) is telling me that I've put on weight. =( I need to loose some weight before prom night or else I won't be able to fit in my dress.

Speaking of which yesterday I went out to Mid Valley and tried out some dresses at Sub.

I think I've put on some weight. Ugh. I'm letting myself go back to how I was two years ago. I need to control my desire to relish everything.

"Beauty is only glacial."

I watched a movie yesterday with Teddy. We watched Beowulf. Like the movie 300 I had zero idea of how the story goes and only went to see it because my partner wanted to (sorry Teddy!).



But like 300 I ended up liking it although I find the first half of it pretty disturbing for the story and the gore. It's created entirely through motion capture (those who don't know it means it's animated). And it's an adaptation of an old English epic poem with a lot mythical creatures, demons and monsters.

Ooh yeah the guy at the popcorn counter gave me a candy cane.
Confession: I ate it already. =(

P.S. I might do a "serious topic" post tonight. It's something that I read during my Biology Paper 1 exam during SPM.

Moving In Here

I think I'll be making a change and use this blog as my main outlet for all my opinions, rants, thoughts and petty ramblings. It'll help me keep a constant stream of posts as I no longer have to restrict non-serious posts to my Friendster blog.

I'm looking forward to starting this already. =) I'll keep my (almost non-existent) readers posted.

Ciao for now. Headed to cook lunch for myself. Think I'll do my yummy potato cheese soup. Here's a picture I took the last time I made it.